As I was finishing writing my last post, I was hit again with the importance of Scripture. I need to be soaking in God's Word so that I can stand firm in the truth of it. If I do not, I will be "tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming" (Eph. 4:14).

"They say evil prevails when good men don't act. They should say evil prevails." - Nicolas Cage Lord of War

We watched 3 movies yesterday. The first one (10 Things I Hate About You) I have seen many times and will likely never grow tired of. The second one (Lord of War) was very thought provoking, breaking through my worldview. The third one (Two for the Money) started out good and ended even better.

As for the quote at the beginning of this post, when I first heard it I thought the second part said "They also say evil prevails." When I hear this, my thought was: ~hm, ya, good men don't act enough.~ When I found out what it actually said, my thought was: ~Ya, it is easy to see why people would think that. When we see and hear about so much evil happening in this world it is easy to become overwhelmed and discouraged by it. But when we truly look at the bigger picture, when we look at the truth, we can be certain that evil does not prevail, but that God is just and will punish the wicked in His good timing. As difficult as it is to see this truth, I do not doubt it. The first time I read Psalm 73:1-17 my whole being grasped this truth, and this is something that will never be shaken in me.

"restless until I rest in Christ"

What a beautiful statement,
what a brilliant truth!
Yet what a hard concept to walk in.

I find peace when I read those words,
a peace and a longing.
But I do not have the strength to let go.

I see the beauty in the idea,
to rest in the arms of the One who loves me.
Still it is so difficult to see how to live it out.

I know I have had this rest before,
and I will have it again.
I will not be parched in the dry land forever.

I have hope in my God,
He will renew my spirit.
I will be taken from this desert.

Well, I had 19 posts (plus comments) to catch up on on an encouraging, challenging site, but I made it! Easy to do when it's good reading. I need to make it one of my priority blogs to read due to the consistancy of the posts and the content therein. Anyways, I should be off again! Have a good day all!

Here's a shout out to Scott's Community Group: Good luck on your 2-week challenge guys! Everyone else...please note the new links on the side (if you can find them in the long list!!!).

I am disgusted by the junk email that is going around these days! I feel like I want to throw-up every time I read the subject lines! Why are we so permeated with images and words of sex/lust? Why has something (sex) that was created to be good become so twisted and perverse? There doesn't seem to be anywhere to get away from it! TV, movies, music, internet, conversations, jokes, pictures, magazines, school, work places...I am revolted by the words and images that seem to penetrate into every area of life.
I don't know how God can be who He is. He hates sin, but He loves us. It seems like we are living in the world before the Flood, or in places like Sodom and Gomorrah or the church in Corinth. I do not have the mercy God has. If I were God I would not have made that covenant with Noah and I would probably wipe out the earth (with the exception of the few who are faithful). So it is good that I am not God and that God is who He is. He is loving, merciful, compassionate, graceful, etc. But while He is these things, He is also our judge. Psalms 73 and 37 give me hope in this aspect of life...as do other passages of Scripture.
How can I think the "turn or burn" message while I still have sin in my life? I know that I am covered by the blood of Christ and that there is no longer condemnation for me, but I need to realize that "love covers over a multitude of sins" (1 Pet. 4:8) and that "God is love" (1 John 4:8, 16) and, therefore, God covers over a multitude of sins. And this He did by sending His Son to die on the cross, even though He was without sin. I don't know if I will ever truly understand the depth of love involved in this...I doubt it. But I do know that His love has captivated me and that I will be forever thankful.

I went to Edmonton for the weekend. I almost decided not to go because I was so tired on Friday, but I really wanted to see my girls. Unfortunately people are so busy that I hardly got to see any of them, so I left Edmonton missing them about as much as before I got there.

It was quite the weekend though. On Saturday we went to West Ed Mall. I went off on my own for the day, watching a movie, doing some shopping...and lots of thinking and praying. Saturday was 2 years since Nikki and Katie were killed in a car accident. While I do miss them both, I didn't know either of them as well as many others, so I asked God to say hi to them for me then spent some time praying for the families and friends of these 2 beautiful girls who are loved more than words can say.

The thinking and praying continued on into Sunday when at church (God's Spirit is really moving at the North Edmonton Christian Fellowship by the way) we were challeneged to open our ears to hear, our eyes to see, and our mouths to speak...and to take back what the enemy has stolen or is trying to steal from us. This is 2 Sundays in a row now (last week was at Deeper Life Services) when I have been reminded/told that something important is missing in my life, but I can't seem to figure out what that something is exactly. I think I know what it affects, but I don't feel like getting into it here. I tried to think back through my life to see when things have been different and I got back to times that I don't remember...like when my dad died when I was 3 or when I first accepted Christ when I was 4. So I'm thinking one or both of those is when something changed in my life, though I'm not sure because I don't know what I was like before that. I just know that something has been stolen from me and I can't seem to get it back, whatever it may be. I will keep asking God to show me and see where we (God and I) end up.

My roommate said she approves of my cooking and that I can get married!!! YAY! So exciting...'cause ya know...I need my roomie's approval in everything;)

WHAT'S YOUR RESPONSE?

I was talking to someone on msn today and they asked: is it ever right to lie......?

My answer was: well, I wouldn't say it's "right" to lie, but it can help us to avoid uncomforatble circumstances...I should say more to this, but I'm not exactly sure what to say right now.

I told her I'd post the question on my blog and see what comes up. So what's your response?

Well, I had decided that I would not post again until I had changed my page because I couldn't stand the look of it! So here I am, at 4am, finally posting. I have been fiddling with a lot of html stuff...having only a vague clue as to what was going on. There was a lot of copy-and-paste action...and MANY MANY previews!!! I doubt I will keep it like this for very long, now that I know a bit mroe about what I'm doing, but I like it a lot more than the last one that got messed up!

I supposed I should go home to bed...I have to be up in about 3 hours :P

Before I go, I would just like to say how wonderful it is to have the rest of the interns back!!! And to have the new students here:)

Favorite things today:

-Working on my page
-Talking with people I never talk with
-Exploring the computer program I have to work with for my internship
-Floor Hockey All-Star Game
-Reading my Bible
-Finding out Abi's in my Community Group
-Being answered "Yes" when I asked if we could watch the World Juniors at our 4th Year party tomorrow (Thursday)
-Feeling at peace before I go home to bed:)

I am finished!!!

Over the Break I finished reading The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. I also read Connecting (don't remember the authors off hand). And I have finally finished reading The Iron Lance by Stephen Lawhead! These were all very good, yet different from one another. I do, however, suppose that I have learned at least one similar thing from all of them: how to better live the life I desire to live.

I started reading The Art of Biblical Narrative over the Break as well, but I think I will hold off on reading for a couple days.

Today I am going in search of a new TV!

Well, here I am in good ol' Calgary, Alberta. Got in about 2 1/2 hours ago. I am finally caught up on my emails and many blog readings. Just about ready for bed (as it is just after 1am here). I watched a few movies over the holidays (they are listed on the side) and I read a lot and played lots of Dominoes and Scrabble with my mom. Even though I didn't get to surprise my parents when I got home, I did get to surprise me grandma. I picked her up on Christmas morning (she thought I was still in Eston). We had a good visit. I love my niece! She is so cute! Once I get back to the college I will see what I can do about getting some pictures up.

I GOT TO GO TO THE WORLD JUNIOR'S LAST NIGHT (WEDENSDAY)!!! CANADA 4 SWITZERLAND 3!
It was a good game! My brother gave me a ticket for Christmas:) Then I got to go home and watch the Canucks (finally) win a game!!! And on the flight tonight I got to watch the 3rd period of the Calgary game (which they won 4-2). It's been good hockey times for me!

I should have something wonderful and inspiring to say, but I do not. Perhaps in the new year. To bed I go. Good night all!

WITH ALL MY LOVE...

Well, I'm not sure if I'll be on-line over the holidays, so I will take this opportunity to wish you all a Merry Christmas.

The way my heart and spirit have been lately, I am anticipating a new beginning next semester. I'm not exactly sure what it will look like, but I know it involves me paying more attention to God. I want to love people the way they need to be loved, and while I knew it before I'm beginning to KNOW it now: the only way I can love people the way they need to be loved is if I am immersed to the point of being overwhelmed in my relationship with God.

Blessing to you all. I love you so very much! (If this was paper, there would be tear drops all over this).

A VOCAB LESSON BY ME, COURTESY OF DICTIONARY.COM

How: In what manner or way; by what means

do: make an effort

I: The self; the ego; Used to refer to oneself as speaker or writer

encourage: To inspire with hope, courage, or confidence; hearten; to give support to

my: Used preceding various forms of polite, affectionate, or familiar address

friends: [people] with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade

toward: In the direction of: driving toward home; In a position facing; In furtherance of

God: A being conceived as the perfect, omnipotent, omniscient originator and ruler of the universe, the principal object of faith and worship in monotheistic religions

?: a punctuation mark placed at the end of a sentence to indicate a question

End of vocab lesson.

So I've come to the conclusion that when I am going through a really crappy time, that is when I need to be interceding for my brothers and sisters in Christ. Of course I need to be doing this on a regular basis, but it seems that it is even more important when I am having a hard time. Of course it is easier to realize this than to actually do it, but I need to be faithful in this.

On another note: I got a letter today...from me. At the beginning of the semester, all the girls were split into groups and went from station to station throughout the school. One of the stations was in the "pit" in the lounge. At this stations, we were asked to write a letter to ourselves...something that the leadership would hold onto until around Christmas time. I've done something like this about 3 or 4 times over my 4 years here and each time I have anticipated getting the letter, still remembering (for the most part) what was in it. This time, however, I completely forgot about it. Even when I saw it, saw the date, and started reading it I was so confused as to when I had written it. Thankfully I somewhat know myself and so had written the setting in which I was writing it. I am always encouraged by these letters (to the point of crying at times). It is so good to see where I was at, to see where I thought I'd be going, and to see where I'm at now. Sometimes I wish I could keep what I have written so I can see my goals while I am going through the semester or whatever, but this way is good too.

We are leaving in 4 days! It is so hard to believe!

A BREAKING HEART...

It is so hard to love people when you don't know how they need to be loved and when you are afraid of rejection. There are a few people here who I am trying to love, but it does not seem to make any difference. I think the hardest part is loving people while their actions tell me that I pretty much don't exist. Thankfully there are only two people who come to mind for that part. It would be so much easier to just to stop trying because it is probably the hardest thing for me to go through. But I know that no matter how many times I have done the same thing to God, He has remained faithful in His love for me. His love is not based on my actions, but on who He is. In the same way, I have been called to love people based not on their actions, but on who God is.

ALIAS in real life?

So I got a letter recently stating that "There has existed for many years an exclusive association, a secret society of the world's most famous and powerful people....Members of the Nuova Tech Society have analyzed your profile....It seems you...possess several rare traits they are searching for...."

Of course they say that the information they sent me is confidential, so to keep it a secret, but you know - when they are sending this to people, trying to prey on their insecurities, offering false hope, trying to discount the work of God - I just can't let it go unsaid. It saddens me to know that there are people in this world who will fall in with this group, some people who are so prideful that they will turn their back on God with the expectation that their life will improve because of their own abilities.

Perhaps with some of them their life will seem to improve, but at what cost? They are forfeiting their souls! To be honest, even though my first thought was "Scam" I could see myself falling into their trap of flattery and false hope. Thankfully, however, I have a God who is bigger, a God who loves me, a God who has proven himself over and over again.

There have been other times recently where I have been challenged (not by people) to renounce God, times where I have been enticed to put my own needs ahead of God's desires, but yet again, God continues to be faithful and continues to show me the "bigger picture".

I am thankful for these "temptation in the desert" times because my faith matures as I rely on the one true God. He is my everything. Without Him I am and have nothing. As one of my favorite songs says, "Where could I go without You? Far, far away I would fall apart. Who could I be without You? Why even try without You? I'll hold onto You, I'll hold onto You, I'll hold on to You sweet, sweet Jesus."

LIVING IN THE REAL WORLD OR JUST WHAT WE THINK IS THE REAL WORLD???

To start: the FGBC Blog has been updated. (See link on side bar).

Now then...

How do you do the right thing when you are under pressure to get things done? How do you decide what the right thing is to do? When the people you respect so much are so set in their ways and so caught up in their own world that they lose sight of the truly important things, what do you do? How much do you put up with? When do you confront them? When do you just need to give up and walk away? When do you need to realize that not everything you think should happen should actually happen? BAH! ARG!

K, I'm done. Write more another time.

There is a lot about me that I do not know. I so desperately want to meet someone who I can connect with on many levels. I have connected with some people, and they've been great connections, but there is always something missing; something that is a big part of who I am. Unfortunately I do not know what that part is exactly because I have not found a way to process it, nor have I found anyone who can teach me in it. All I know is that I am aching inside, knowing that a big part of me is unknown to all but God. Perhaps it will always be that way, but I long for it to be drawn out of me.

I am so tired! My eyes are really sensitive right now.

While watching Kingdom of Heaven, reading blogs, and writing my internship journal, my heart has been penetrated once again. I have been reminded of the importance of loving people. I have been reminded that when I am searching people's hearts I become very in tune with the heart of God and am able to recognize the prompting of the Spirit. I have moved so far away from this calling in my life, but now I choose to come back to it.

Off to bed!