A little at a time

I was going to write about my re-discovered love for the library, but I'm not sure where to go with it. So I will leave it at the fact that the 2 most recent books I have borrowed from the library are "Patrick" by Stephen Lawhead and "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho.

Instead, I will write briefly about charities and my limited finances. I am continually surprised by how many phone calls and letters I receive from various charities asking for "only $25" or whatever. One time when somebody asked for that, I told them that my finances were not good at the time, and that I actually only had $25 a month left over for food for myself. Thankfully I have gotten my full hours back at work, so my finances are back on track, but I am still cannot give to everyone who phones and writes. I'm still not too sure how to choose between them all, but sometimes there are a couple that just "feel right" at the time. This actually got me thinking about God. I mean, how many people ask Him for things every second of every day? Yet His supply is endless!

No words

For the last month I have had stuff to write about, but haven't felt like writing. Now that I want to write, I can't think of what to write about. Maybe I'll try again later...

God, help us...

Think carefully about what you will be reading...

Mary had a little Lamb,
It's fleece was white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
The Lamb was sure to go.

It followed her to school each day,
It was against the rules.
It made the children laugh and play,
To have a Lamb at school.

And then the rules all changed one day,
Illegal it became;
To bring the Lamb of God to school,
Or even speak His Name!

Every day got worse and worse,
And days turned into years.
Instead of hearing children laugh,
We heard gun shots and tears.

What must we do to stop the crime,
That's in our schools today?
Let's let the Lamb come back to school,
And teach our kids to pray!

Square or Diamond?

I like Shreddies and all, but give me a break...THEY ARE THE SAME!!!!!!
Now, if they added some kind of sugar coating to make the "diamond" ones appear to sparkle, that would be a different story.

Creative outlet?

I want to make something...build something...anything. When we put our bookcase together last year, something hit home with me. It hit me again tonight when I was opening the TV remote. Using a screwdriver, a hammer, screws, nails, boards...it all just felt so right in my hands. I have been wanting to buy a dresser for a while now. Tonight I thought about attempting to make my own. I think I'll hold off on something that big for now, but maybe I'll go find something this week to practice on.

Review of 2008 (facebook note)

2008: In The Beginning
Where did you bring in the New Year?: Cedar Grove Baptist Church in Surrey.
Who were you with?: Rachel, sort of Lisa and Dave, and a lot of people I don't know.
Did you kiss anyone at midnight and who?: Nope.
Did you make any resolutions?: No.

2008: Your Love Life
Did you break up with anyone?: No.
Did you get anything for Valentine's day?: Nope.
Did you meet anyone special?: No.
Did you fall in love?: No.

2008: Friends and Enemies
Did you meet any new friends this year?: Yes.
Did any of your friendships end?: Yes.
Did you dislike anyone?: Yes.
Did you make any new enemies?: I'm not sure.
Did you resolve any fights?: Not exactly.
Who was your closest friend?: Sarah and Rachel.
Who did you grow apart from?: Friends from various parts of my life.
Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?: Sometimes.

2008: All about YOU
Did you change at all this year?: Yes
Did you dye your hair?: No.
Did you get your hair cut?: Yes
Did you change your style?: Not really.
Were you in school?: No, but I do miss it.
Did you get good grades?: N/A
Did you have a job?: 2...EV and Cur-Quin
Did you drive?: Yes...longest drive was to Eston and back.
Did you own a car?: Yep, and it's surprisingly still holding on.
Did anyone close to you give birth?: Quite a few...and they're still coming!
Did you move at all?: No...for a change.
Did you go on any vacations?: Yes. Eston, roadtrip with Sarah, and Vegas!
Did you leave the country at all?: Yes (see above).

2008: Wrap Up.
Was 2008 a good year?: It had its ups and downs.
Did 2008 bring any new insights?: Yah.
Do you think 2009 will top 2008?: Yes. I expect great things for 2009.

A Good Visit

My mom and I went to my grandma's yesterday for our bi-weekly visit. These visits always consist of playing Scrabble and Saskatchewan Rummy, but other than that they can vary. Yesterday we ended up playing Blackjack as well. Little things (like turning the first card face-up) were really getting to us in a good way. One of the best quotes of the day was by my grandma when she answered the phone, "I just have to take out my hearing-aid so I can hear." Numerous times we broke out into hysterical laughter. It was a good visit, one that brought back memories of how our visits always used to be.

Grandma

I love my grandma. She will be 85 tomorrow, but we celebrated her birthday today. It is getting harder and harder to visit her because she is feeling the effects of old age in both her physical health and her mental health. We still have normal conversations and we still play card games and Scrabble, but she is starting to really struggle with these things she has done her whole life. It is very hard to watch because she and my mom and I are so much alike, so it's like seeing where I could be at in 50 some odd years. And it is hard because she is the only grandparent I have ever really had. When I was driving her home tonight she said the family needs to start taking things from her place because she won't always be around for that stuff and she wants to know where her things end up. While I know she won't always be around, that is something I don't like to think about. When I do think about it, my eyes start to well up. I love my grandma very much and I am so thankful for the time we've been able to spend together over the years.

Goodbye EV, Hello life

I swiped out for the last time today. I turned in my card, my key, and my stamp, hugged co-workers goodbye, and walked out. I have no regrets in taking the job at EV and I have no regrets in leaving it. I met some wonderful people who I will miss seeing on a regular basis, but I know I will see some of them outside of work still. As I was driving towards the main road, I had one somewhat sad moment: I would not see the amazing view of the sun coming over the mountains as I leave work in the mornings. I will, however, have many opportunities to see both sunsets and sunrises in new places. I am already enjoying knowing that I will be on a normal sleep schedule again after 2 years of switching between sleeping during the day when I worked and during the night on my weekends. While my overtime at EV is paying off now, I am hopeful that I will soon be working for a company that will allow me to have a set schedule. I look forward to this next part of my journey.

CSI

What is it with this show? I can sit and watch it for hours. It's more addicting than facebook! Even if it's episodes I've seen recently I will still sit there and watch it. If there was channel CSI, I would likely be a subscriber. For the amount that I watch it, I can't believe I still have a lot of episodes to watch. Maybe one day I will invest in buying the series. I know most of the show is not flimed in Vegas, but I wonder if I can find a CSI jacket or something while I'm there...

Update?

I want to update, but I don't know what to write, so I leave you with this:

I have a headache.
I want a McFlurry.
I need a job.
I am excited about Vegas.
I want more, yet I am content.

Well, there's a 1/2 hour left before I check out the new 90210. Just enough time to go get that McFlurry...

Venting

I need to vent, but I don't know how. There's so much going on, yet there's nothing going on. I want to throw things, I want to scream, I want it all to be over, I want to cry, I want to let go, I want to hold on. I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm scared, I'm confused. I feel like I have so much bottled up inside of me that I just can't let out. It's like it (whatever "it" is) is so deeply rooted that it can't be pulled out, or it is under so much pressure that it's going to burst any time now. I feel like a walking time-bomb. It's work, it's friends, it's God, it's...I don't know what it is! The one person I came to really trust since coming back to Abby, the one person who I felt I could be honest with, who understood me, has moved away. I didn't even get to say goodbye (or see ya). Those moments are so important to me, so I do what I can to ensure it happens. This time it didn't work. I miss my friend...a lot. It's times like these when I lose sight of the importance of relationships. Sometimes it seems like it would be so much easier to not care...much less heartache. I am so sick of people having almost every excuse in the book not to go into work. And as much as I love my place of employment for wanting to help people out, willing to give the many chances, I hate it at the same time because people take advantage of it, knowing their not going to get fired. I'm sick of my schedule (and a few other people's schedules) getting changed around so much. I put up with it for now, saying it's only temporary, but it's hard to deal with, especially lately with all this other crap going on. I hate how there are and have been so many people (whom I have considered friends) making random trips to the Vancouver area, but don't even mention they're coming let alone attempt a visit. I'd vent about God too, but what's the point...He's right, I'm wrong.

A poem I came across in an email

You're...
My friend,
My companion,
Through good times and bad,
My friend,
My buddy,
Through happy and sad,
Beside me you stand,
Beside me you walk,
You're there to listen,
You're there to talk,
With happiness,
With smiles,
With pain and tears,
I know you'll be there, throughout the years!

Quite the Encounter

Everlasting God (by Lincoln Brewster)

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
Wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
Wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
Our God You reign forever
Our Hope our strong Deliverer

You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary

You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles

While I was at Encounter Weekend in Eston a few weeks ago, we were singing this song. I was standing on the balcony of the church, looking out over everyone gathered in the sanctuary. I was overwhelmed as I sang these words, for the thoughts that came to me were that God is our strength when we wait on Him, and that because we are His children we take on some of His characteristics.
He is the everlasting God - the things He was speaking to us that weekend will remain with us. We will not forget and we will not ignore. We will take what He said and go with it.
As His children, we need to be defending the weak, comforting those in need, and encouraging and supporting each other.
I did not leave this weekend on a "spiritual high" like I usually would. I like those spiritual highs because they give me that extra bit of strength I need to keep going or to help me see more clearly. But this time it seems as though there was a seed planted deep within, a seed that will not be neglected but will grow over time and spring up suddenly. Even before this weekend I knew that I was in the midst of a long-term "waiting game" (and have been for quite a few years now). I was assured this weekend that I have not missed my chance, but that I have a few more years of waiting. The question I have now is, what will I do during this time of waiting? How do I prepare for the unknown? I will spend time with Him. I will not waste my time away. I will wait purposefully.

Justice

Why is this word popping up every which way I turn? Books, movies, radio, conferences.... It's driving me crazy!

"He has shown all you people what is good. And What does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8 TNIV

The Parable of the Good Samaritan

25On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
26"What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?"
27He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"
28"You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live."
29But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"
30In reply Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. 35The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.'
36"Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?"
37The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him." Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise."

This is one of my favorite parables. I love when it is put into practice.

Merry Christmas

The Christmas Song

Away In A Manger

H E L P

How can you turn away from the most important person/thing in your life?
How can you stand by and do nothing when you see your friends, your family, your co-workers are hurting themselves and those around them?
How can you remain silent when there is so much to say?
How can you sit there and do nothing when there is so much to be done?

What, are you scared?
You don't think one person can make a difference?
You don't think enough people know the truth?

If everyone who thinks their $1, $5, $10 isn't worth donating would get over themselves and actually donate to a cause they believe in, maybe they would see their little bit come together and make a huge difference.
Or if you honestly cannot afford to give any money, what about giving your time? Be a regular volunteer or go ask if they need help on any given day.

What cause(s) do you believe in?
What is holding you back?
What are you going to do? When?

Express Yourself

Although I subconciously knew this before, I came to realize over this past week that I do not express myself very often. So many times I will think things or feel things, but until someone else says what they are thinking or feeling, it rarely crosses my mind to do the same. For example, if someone does something different with their hair (cut or style or whatever), I will see it, think to myself that something is different, decide that it looks good (usually), but not say anything. This doesn't happen all the time, but it does happen most of the time. Or if I see someone doing something nice for someone, or hear them saying something nice to someone, I smile inwardly then continue with what I'm doing. I think it would be good to express myself more often in these types of situations.

That kind of goes with something else I was thinking about this morning. I am an observer. I find that I pay attention to the things that people do and say more than the average person, and I tend to remember the things that I observe, even though I don't often realize it. So when I think about people and don't think that I know what's going on in their lives, I find that when I am asked about those people, I actually know more than I realized. It is strange.

Anyways, that's enough rambling for this morning.

Faith and Prayer

Louise Redden, a poorly dressed lady with a look of defeat on her face, walked into a grocery store. She approached the owner of the store in a most humble manner and asked if he would let her charge a few groceries. She softly explained that her husband was very ill and unable to work, they had seven children and they needed food. John Longhouse, the grocer, scoffed at her and requested that she leave his store at once. Visualizing the family needs, she said: "Please, sir! I will bring you the money just as soon as I can." John told her he could not give her credit, since she did not have a charge account at his store. Standing beside the counter was a customer who overheard the conversation between the two. The customer walked forward and told the grocer that he would stand good for whatever she needed for her family. The grocer said in a very reluctant voice, "Do you have a grocery list?" Louise replied, "Yes sir" "O.K" he said, "put your grocery list on the scales and whatever your grocery list weighs, I will give you that amount in groceries." Louise, hesitated a moment with a bowed head, then she reached into her purse and took out a piece of paper and scribbled something on it. She then laid the piece of paper on the scale carefully with her head still bowed. The eyes of the grocer and the customer showed amazement when the scales went down and stayed down. The grocer, staring at the scales, turned slowly to the customer and said begrudgingly, "I can't believe it." The customer smiled and the grocer started putting the groceries on the other side of the scales. The scale did not balance so he continued to put more and more groceries on them until the scales would hold no more. The grocer stood there in utter disgust. Fi nally, he grabbed the piece of paper from the scales and looked at it with greater amazement. It was not a grocery list, it was a prayer, which said: "Dear Lord, you know my needs and I am leaving this in your hands." The grocer gave her the groceries that he had gathered and stood in stunned silence. Louise thanked him and left the store. The other customer handed a fifty-dollar bill to the grocer and said; "It was worth every penny of it. Only God Knows how much a prayer weighs." THE POWER OF PRAYER: When you receive this, say a prayer. That's all you have to do. Just stop right now, and say a prayer of thanks for your own good fortune.