Dreams / Lack of Confidence / The Need to Trust

I have shared my new dream with a number of people, and now with whoever reads this:

I am planning to go back to university, get my Bachelor of Social Work (and perhaps Masters, and perhaps another degree), get involved in the prevention/elimination/recovery aspects of human trafficking in general (child soldiers in specific). As far as I can tell, the beginning of this dream came a couple years ago when I read the book "Girl Soldier: A Story of Hope for Northern Uganda's Children".

This is a fairly new dream, and it is now competing with an older dream:
For over 10 years now I've wanted to be involved in drug & alcohol recovery, potentially starting something similar to The Dream Centre. I don't know why this has been on my heart for so long, and I don't know why it was put on the back-burner for a while or why it's resurfacing now.

What I do know is that I am currently battling a lack of confidence. So much so that I literally feel like I'm drowning. I do not have the skills to be involved in these areas (hence the plan to go back to university). I keep thinking of getting involved in the LifeBridge Ministries LAMP Mentoring program, but then I start thinking "Who am I to think I could mentor someone? I can't even get my own life together, so how am I supposed to help guide someone else?" When these doubts come in, they seem to be around long enough to get me to put plans on hold. But then God comes along and gently reminds me of His greatness, His abilities, the words He has spoken to me, His leading. As He brings these things to mind, the doubts slowly get pushed aside. Then, as I feel ready to act, they come swooping in again. I am so sick of this game!

I know God. I trust Him like a child trusts. The adult part of me needs to trust that He will work through me and in spite of me, just as He has done with so many others.

(I was just looking for a picture to put at the top of this post and came across this: http://simplemegirl.blogspot.com/2011/01/my-wallpaper-waves.html. I have been sitting here, jaw dropped, stunned at how fitting this was for me to come across).