I came to the office tonight thinking that I had forgotten to put a paper in everyone's folders, but when I went to start putting them in, I realized they were already in there. That was such a nice feeling. I really must stop doubting myself, though sometimes it's good because I know I have already forgotten things this past week. But we actually have it together. I am loving my internship and am so often on the same wavelength as my mentor. It's great! After I fill in my day planner with some meetings I am going to make a phone call to see if I can go to the place where I can feel comfortable and relaxed. I am starting to feel this way just thinking about it. I wish it was my place where I felt this way, but perhaps in time it will be. So hopefully I will soon go to this place that feels like home. In fact, I think I'll call now...Yay! Going to Cat's for ice cream, then to read and relax. Adiós!

What a crazy week! I left Calgary last Sunday, arrived in Eston and unpacked some stuff, then packed other stuff for Staff Retreat. Staff Retreat went well. I was so excited to be able to swim in a lake again! Got back to Eston, stayed in the dorms for 2 nights. Started my internship on Wednesday. I LOVE what I'm doing! I am having some "lack of personal space/freedom" issues, but hopefully those will be dealt with soon enough. We went to the President's Ball tonight. Amazing food as always! And it was even better time because it was the Miller's 24th Anniversary and evelyn's birthday. I can faintly hear Jason Upton playing in the background (from downstairs I believe). It's beautiful. Speaking of beautiful...the sky (what I like to call God's ever-changing painting) captivates me so easily. I am still being romanced by my God and I am loving every second of it! My mind so easily wanders to Him. *sigh*

I am constantly amazed at how quickly I can connect with so many people. I just got back from getting my hair done and had a great 2 hour talk with the person doing my hair. We had quite a bit in common. If I do end up moving back here it wouldn't surprise me if we got to be good friends. This is now 3 people I have met this summer who I have felt a quick connection with. Maybe moving here wouldn't be so bad after all!

Oh! I was listening to the radio (Shine FM) while I was getting ready for my appointment and just before I was going to turn it off, there was a contest. I called and ended up winning 2 Bananas Comedy DVDs! I'm so excited! Hopefully I can pick those up on my way to work.

Eston in 3 days!!!!!!!!

I didn't think I'd be eating my words this time...especially so soon! While I was at work tonight I got overwhelmed with the feeling and idea that after grad I will be in Calgary for at least a few years. I was thinking about trying to get a job at VersaCold again as well as make better use of my spare time by volunteering at the Dream Centre. Right after this came so powerfully to me, my supervisor said she wanted my contact info so she could get a hold of me if she needed me again after grad! Me...living in Calgary...for more than this summer...I never would have thought it! I still have mixed feelings about it...

Well, I was thinking earlier about making some changes to my site, but I decided against it. Apparently my decision did not make a difference, so here we are. I don't think I'll be having comments available for a while...just something I think I need to do (or not do).

I am excited to get back to school! I will have the opportunity to get to know the new staff and to get to know the returning staff on a new level. I will be able to see some of my friends again. I will be able to take part of one aspect of stress off of Danielle. I will have the opportunity to put into practice the things God has been teaching me. I am anticipating great things for this year. I must try to make the most of every opportunity. I must make a conscious effort...daily.

God, thank You for lifting my spirits via a 3am msn convo with a friend.

I Hate/I Love

I hate saying goodbye. Whether it's with people I have known for years or those who I have only just started getting to know. ("It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."--Yes, but it sure doesn't feel like it some times! I hate it when it seems I am the only one making an effort in a relationship. I hate how draining it is to put everything I am into my relationships. I hate losing friendships. I hate getting to the point where I consider not making any effort in my relationships and seeing what happens because this thought goes through my mind so often, and yet I refuse to give into it because if I start playing games like that I will miss out on some great times with some great people. I hate not knowing where to draw the line. I hate how important friends are to me. I hate my insecurities and fears. I hate having difficulty expressing what I'm thinking/feeling. I hate my lack of discipline.

I love the fact that God uses my friends and my thoughts of friendship to talk to me/teach me. I love the underlying peace He has given me...even in the midst of heartache. I love that people can feel free to talk for hours on end without being interrupted and know they are being listened to. I love that I learned how to think. I love the blue-black transition of the sky at night, as well as the sunrises and sunsets. I love it when God and His Word are revealed to me in new ways. I love the fact that God never gives up on us. I love the people God has brought into my life (for any length of time/for any purpose). I love that I have been so blessed to have someone in my life who I could tell anything to and know that they would still love me and still want our friendship to continue and grow. I love that God is in control of everything and that he always does what is best.

Ok, for those of you who remember my date with God in November, I would just like to say that my whole life is like that right now! I was surprised I hadn't blogged about my date with God, but I now realize that it is because I cannot do it justice. But anyways. I finished reading "Captivating" yesterday. (Was it only yesterday???). God has been doing so much in my life this whole summer, but very much so in the last couple days! I am finally at a place where my eyes, heart, and mind are focused on Him. I am so very much in love with my God and He is in love with me! This truth is putting so many things into perspective for me. I know there will likely come a time when I do not FEEL this way, but I am enjoying every moment of this! He has made me aware of the power and authority that He has given me in Jesus Christ. I have been reading people's blogs and talking with people and I am giddy! Seeing God moving so strongly in so many lives, not only that, but in the lives of people I know, in the lives of my friends...I cannot, nor do I want to, contain the joy that is overcoming me! We will continue to be in battle this year, but I can see that God has been preparing us and that we are ready for battle. We are truly ready to stand firm, to hold our ground, and to fight the Enemy! Daily, we will put on the armor of God, and we will do so consciously! This is it!

I have a very critical spirit. I have noticed it in abundance last night and today. Please pray for me if you think of it.