Wednesday, September 29, 2004

I love knowing when I'm learning something or that I'm being transformed, but today it just hurt my mind so much. I could tell near the beginning of class that something was going on...I wanted to leave the class crying because it was scaring me so much, but I knew that I had to stay. Before the break, my mind was being compressed and twisted. It was horrible! I know it'll be good, but at the time...

Friday, September 24, 2004

I can already see a common theme in all 4 of my classes this year: practical ways to engage in the surrounding culture. It is a beautiful thing. This is something I have had difficulty with, but now that it's being crammed into my head in classes and with friends, it should make a huge impact in my life when it all comes together.

I started reading the Spiritual Mentoring book for Leadership II. It was weird starting on chapter 4, but that's what our paper's on, so that's what I'll read for now. It's been a confirmation of the things I've been thinking about regarding friendship and what not. Now, if only I would learn to take the initiative to do something about it.

I had so much fun tonight! I've been spending so much time reading, it was nice to take a break. We watched Pirates of the Caribbean in the lounge, then I went for a walk with a few friends. Turns out the time I have spent playing Mario Tennis has not been pointless. It hepled me be able to play a doubles game of a similar sort with Mark, Josh, and Caleb. I had so much fun. The game had some crazy monkeys dancing on it, so while we were finishing our walk, we decided to imitate them. I was a good night.

When I went to do kitchen laundry today, I smahed my hand against something and ended up taking a small chunk of skin off my knuckle. It bled through 2 small band-aids, but the 3rd patch band-aid has been doing well.

Anywho...I'm off to the dorms.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

I don't know why I can't learn one very important lesson: to daily recognize my need to depend on God. I wish I could learn it on the basis of God alone, however I seem only to be reminded of it for selfish reasons, which I guess is better than not realizing it. I was having a really weird, not so good night last night and I couldn't figure out why. When I stopped to think about it, however, I realized that it is because I have been neglecting my intimate moments with God. I mean, sure, I still talked with Him and stuff, but I hadn't read my Bible or just purposed to sit and think about Him for a couple days. When I neglect this time with God, I get into trouble emotionally. Thankfully when I realize that that's what's going on and I do something about it, I move out of that state of mind. One reason I wanted to be in leadership this year because I knew it would keep me accountable to God because I knew there would be no way I could make it through the things I have to go through without Him. How can I expect to give to others out of a void in my own life...I need to, as we've been taught, give out of the abundance of God.

Friday, September 10, 2004

I woke up feeling so refreshed and completely relaxed this morning, it was great! Last night I found a few notes of encouragement from my Community Group from last year. I didn't realize how much I needed to hear those words again until I read them last night. God has perfect timing in all that He does and I am so greatful for that so many times. I love when it is brought both to my heart and my mind the love that God has for me. When I became a Christian, I was truly made a new creation. God's mercies are new every morning. These thoughts remind me of part of "Smellin' Coffee" by Chris Rice"I wake up, my past is gone; Your mercy's new with the morning sun; I'm forgiven, I'm free, it's a brand new day 'cause Your faithfulness is the greatest!"

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

I got some good advice in, I believe it was, April 2003: "Don't be afraid to ask God the hard questions." It took me until last night, however, to truly think about what that means and to act upon it. Now I patiently await answers to those questions, knowing full well that I may not get answers to some of them, but feeling better knowing that I have asked things that I had not thought to ask before.
Some advice I was given in, I believe it was, April 2003: "Don't be afraid to ask God the hard questions." It took me till last night to seriously think about that advice and to go for it. So last night I asked and today until it happens I patiently await the answers.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

I was made aware of something last night. We were sitting in the lounge for a time of worship for chapel before going for a time of prayer with our community groups. Between the music and community groups, Brian gave a bit of a sermon on love and friendship. Previously I had thought that there were a few friends who I had made too important in my life and I kept trying to change that. I was constantly struggling with this because it didn't make sense to me to try to love somebody less. I don't know why I didn't clue in before to the fact that I am not to love those few individuals less, but that I am to increase my love for others. Now that I'm typing this I do remember thinking this before because I am now stuck with a familiar unconcluded conclusion (whatever). I think to Jesus' relationships. He loved everyone, yet He had 12 with whom He shared more things and 3 of those 12 whom He seemed even closer with. I don't know.

Saturday, September 04, 2004

"It is better to be single and wishing you were married than married and wishing you were single." This was one of many truths spoken at our get together in the lounge last night. It was so good to see all of the s from the school interacting with the women of this community. It was so good to see the beginning of the work God is going to do this year. I got to see, in a few practical ways, how much I need to rely on God and how faithful He is in all He does. Some of the things I came to understand in my head, especially last year, I am now being forced to learn in my whole being (thank you God!). Though I got to see last night how well Mandy and I work together as RAs, I do not plan to even come close to the danger of thinking we can handle whatever comes our way this year. Though I had been told many times to rehearse the truth, I saw the outcome of that last night and that excites me.