I know that all my problems haven't (and aren't suppose to have) gone away, but they seem so insignificant right now. Last week was hard. Feeling like I was spending time with God was near impossible. I was so focused on me and my problems that I wasn't doing anybody any good. This week, however, is a different story. While I've still had a hard time getting up in the mornings to spend time with God, I have come with an open and willing heart. I have been blessed...abundantly. It's like this whole week has been a continual date with God. When I recognize that I am with Him, there is nothing that could give me greater joy and greater love. And out of this relationship with Him, I have been free to spend time with other people (yes, including those I don't EVER hang out with). My eyes have been opened to see some of the needs in certain people's lives, and from that I can walk out my missional life (thanks T.). While I learn what it means to do this, I will continue to be transformed, and will continue to try to keep my pride in check. Anyways, I should get going, but let me encourage you to seek God daily because HE IS WORTH IT!

It was so great this afternoon lying on the couch, watching Jack (the cat) enjoy the sunshine, laughing as he prepares to pounce on a fly and tries to do so - missing every time. I miss the simple joy of watching a cat play. The simple joy of so many things that I pretend like I'm too busy to watch. The sun is out, the snow is melting, spring is in the air. God, help me to use these next few weeks wisely. Help me to see what it's really all about.

Street Ministry

What is it that holds me back from doing something that I love so much?
Little experience in life and ministry? Partly.
Fear of sounding stupid? Yes, that too.
Busyness of life? That's another excuse.
Fear of failure? Always.

What is it about Street Ministry that I love so much?
Listening to people's stories.
The thought of being able to help them walk/work through their struggles.
Exemplifying God's love to the "unloveable".
Showing people their potential and helping them see ways to reach it.
Being obedient to what God has called me to do.
Being open to allow God to develop me.

I did some Street Ministry before I came to FGBC. At that time, I wasn't really sure what I was supposed to do or how to go about doing it. After 4 years of Bible College, I am still not entirely sure of these things, but I am more willing to interact with people and I have a stronger foundation in my faith. After wrestling in my faith at great length at least once a year, I have come to learn that God will not give up on me, that He will continue to walk with me through those faith-challenging times, that He will rescue me from those life-altering "dark night of the soul" times. I suppose it's a good thing that I'm uncertain of my abilities because this requires me to rely on God, on who He says He is, rather than doing it on my own.

After reading Sheri's blog and the link in one of the comments, both my desire and my fear have grown stronger.

Thoughts on Street Ministry lead me to another desire of my heart that I shall get into at another time: Intercession.

I have much on my mind, but not enough time to get into it right now. I will leave you and myself with 2 words that I plan to expound upon in the near future: Street Ministry.

Is He worth it?

March 9th, 2006

Two weeks and two days ago was Recruitment Chapel. It has had an immediate and longer-lasting impact on me compared to many things I have learned. I was humbled by the love of both man and God. What has stuck with me most has been the message of God's love for me, combined with both words and video footage. We were asked to watch some clips from The Passion of the Christ while picturing Jesus the Christ thinking "You are worth it". I could not contain the flood of tears that came upon me.

Last weekend was Encounter Weekend. I spent a lot of time face down before my God, seeking His heart, getting to know Him. Many of us were struck with the urgency of continually being in this posture and having this attitude.

There is now a specific time set aside in the mornings from 7:15-7:45 where anyone who wants to can go to the chapel to sing along with a cd, pray, journal, read, draw, rest, dance...anything that allows people to get to know God. While it has been hard to get up in the mornings, the thing that gets me out of bed is asking the question: Is He worth it?

Well, what can I say? I couldn't resist:

ISFJ - "Conservator". Desires to be of service and to minister to individual needs - very loyal. 13.8% of total population.

Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)