"I don't want to get my hopes up..."

While visiting Edmonton (GO OILERS GO!!!) this weekend I had the opportunity to find my way to a mall via transit. While on one of these lovely modes of transportation I overheard the above phrase which has lingered in my mind for the past couple days. Right away I knew I wanted to blog about it.

So what is it about this phrase that has caused me to ponder it as more than just a passing comment like I usually do? I guess it opened my eyes in a new way to the attitude of fear that seems to consume so many people. (I think there's more to it than that, but hopefully that will come out as I continue typing). We don't want to get our hopes up because we are afraid of being disappointed, afraid of having broken hearts. While this is understandable, as these feelings are painful and emotionally and physically draining, we cannot let this stop us from getting our hopes up, for when we truly get our hopes up it is because we really believe in the possibility and we are passionate about it.

And while it's important to keep each other accountable to living in reality, we also need to encourage one another to pursue our dreams. We don't do each other any good to say, "Don't get your hopes up." While we mostly say this to try to save each other from disappointment and heartache, I believe it subtly encourages apathy in those who hear it and in those who say it.

(And now comes the Devil's Advocate conversation running through my mind that usually stops me from sharing my thoughts)...

I was going to say that we need to keep each other accountable with our dreams by discussing the positives and negatives of them, asking the person to make sure they still want to follow this dream, then support them in any way we can to reach that dream.

As I thought about typing that, however, I had another thought run through my mind about how someone could decide that they still wanted to follow their dream even if the negatives out-weighed the positives, even if it would lead them to sin. If this was the case, I guess once they make the decision to follow through on their dream, that is when we need to let them know that we cannot support them while they continue on this path.

Regardless of which approach we take, based on which path they take, it is important that we be there for them even when the results are in. If they succeed in following their positive dream, we should celebrate with them and continue to encourage and support them. If they fail in either their positive or negative dream, we need to continue to love them, giving them an ear that will listen and a shoulder to cry on if it is needed.

(Bah, here we go again)...

If the person succeeds in their negative dream, this is where I do not know what to do. Do we leave them to themselves, knowing they will one day reap the consequences of what they have sown? Do we just look past it, staying in their life hoping they won't follow a similar path any time soon?

(Wow...not where I thought this was going)...

So they messed up. So what? We have all sinned. We have all needed love and forgiveness. Even if they don't want forgiveness for what they have done, is it still our responsibility to forgive them? And even if we do forgive them, that doesn't mean that we have to continue to stick with them, does it? Where are the boundaries for love? Are there any? To love 3 people doesn't mean you treat them the same way. People need to be loved in different ways. One person may need to be yelled at to make positive changes in their life, while another person might need to be talked to calmly, while still another person may need to be ignored to realize that they need to make a change.

I need to stop now before I change direction again. Thanks for your patience in reading all of this. I hope it made sense.

Ah Calgary. I never thought I would want to move here, but last summer I said I could see myself here for the next few years. That, however, is not happening any time soon (that I know of). The plan is to move to Surrey, BC. Oh, how I miss the West Coast! I love Saskatchewan as well. But as I have been in the Calgary area again for a couple days I wonder why I do not just move here. It is so beautiful, there are so many opportunities (jobs and otherwise), there are so many people here who I know and so many others I could get to know. It would be so easy for me to not continue on to BC when I am done in SK, but I know that I need to go to Surrey. I know that God is leading me there. I know that there is so much that He has planned for me while I am there. It is hard knowing that I have just over a month to find both a job and a place to live there, but I know that God is faithful. I trust Him, knowing that He loves me and will provide for me one way or another. Anyways, I'm off to watch the Edmonton Oilers defeat the Anaheim Mighty Ducks in this beautiful Western Conference Final. GO OILERS GO!!!

This song is a recap of my summer thus far (minus the dress and the live, talking mice)...

[Cinderella:]
Cinderella, Cinderella
All I hear is Cinderella, from the moment I get up
till shades of night are falling
There isn't any letup, I hear them calling, calling
Go up and do the attic and go down and do the cellar, you can do them
both together
"Cinderella."

How lovely it would be
if I could live in my fantasy
But in the middle of my dreaming
they're screaming
at me
Cinderella

[Jack:]
Every time she'd find a minute
That's the time that they begin it
Cinderelly, Cinderelly

[Stepsisters:] Cinderella!

[Jack:]
Cinderelly, Cinderelly
Night and day it's Cinderelly
Make the fire, fix the breakfast
Wash the dishes, do the mopping

[Girl mice:]
And the sweeping and the dusting
They always keep her hopping

[Jack:]
She goes around in circles
Till she's very, very dizzy
Still they holler

[Girl mice:]
Keep a-busy Cinderelly!
We can do it, we can do it
We can help our Cinderelly
We can make her dress so pretty
There's nothing to it, really
We'll tie a sash around it
Put a ribbon through it
When dancing at the ball
She'll be more beautiful than all
In the lovely dress we'll make for Cinderelly

Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry
Gonna help our Cinderelly
Got no time to dilly-dally
We gotta get a-goin'

[Gus:]
I'll cut with these scissors!

[Jack:]
And I can do the sewing!

[Girl Mouse:]
Leave the sewing to the women
You go get some trimmin'
And we'll make a lovely dress for
Cinderelly!

[Girl mice and Gus:]
We'll make a lovely dress for
Cinderelly!

KARATE GOPHER???


Well, today is the 4th Annual Eston River Trek. These people are CRAZY! No, just kidding. I am amazed by the people who take this on. Karla and I were providing food and drinks at checkpoint 2, which was the half-marathon point. The first person to reach this 13 mile mark had left town with the 6am group and arrived at our station at 8am. The conditions for the runners/walkers was pretty good except for good ol' Eston mud and the wind that picked up every so often. For those of us sitting outside (or partially outside) for 3 hours it was FREEZING! Well, maybe not that bad, but it was pretty cold! I was in town last year at this time, but didn't really pay all that much attention to this event, but it was good to get involved in this community in a new way. It is still going on as I write this. Last year the times ranged from about 5 1/2 hours to 14 hours to complete the 40 miles. It is quite the event!

Something I wrote this morning that I thought I needed to share...

Bound by time? I lay here and begin to write, knowing that I do not have a long period of time in which to write. In this sense I am bound by time. My purpose in writing, however, is to journey with God, to discover Him, to explore myself, to reflect on life.... In this sense I am never bound by time, only by my mindset. I so desire to worship God with my entire being and yet I get in the way of this. God, help me to focus on You as I write, as I work, as I sit at a table with others, as I am off on my own. "One thing I ask, this is what I seek, that I may dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Where is my reverence of You, Father God, Creator, YHWH, Lord, Redeemer, Master, Savior, Friend? I look all around me and who do I see? It is You, the Alpha and Omega. It is You who said You would never leave me. You are always with me. You are my hope, my strength, my breath, my life. To You do I direct my worship, for You alone are worthy. I lay at Your feet. I dwell in Your presence, in the presence of the Almighty, and I wait. I listen. I worship.

SPONGE BOB IS GONE!!!



When my office computer was switched, the keyboard was switched along with it. But the new keyboard was not just any keyboard, it was a keyboard that had all but 11 keys. It was quite frightning. See, I had nothing against Sponge Bob before. I have never seen the show. But it was painful to look at the keyboard. So this morning I got rid of Sponge Bob!!! That's right...I switched keyboards!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Speaking of sponges...we started cleaning the cafeteria kitchen and Dorm 4 this week. While it's a lot of work, it doesn't feel like a job. It seems like a long-lasting campus clean-up. And I'm enjoying working with and hanging out with Kathy and Karla.

Last summer Karla and I had talked about doing a cross-Canada trip this summer, but we're pretty sure that's not happening anymore. This past week though (when I found out the worship conference in Calgary wasn't happening anymore) I started looking at flights to Hawaii, Montreal, New Brunswick, and Italy. Karla said she might be up for a trip to Hawaii or something. I mean, 3 of those places would be 1/2 our pay cheque for the next 6 weeks, but I want to go somewhere. I'm not sure where. I just want to GO!

And I really want to watch "Stay" and "V for Vendetta"!

I am seriously overwhelmed with the number of blogs that are out there!
When I first started blogging, I only knew one other person who had a blog. Then, because I like to get to know other sides of people, I became familiar with two people my friend had links to. That's all it was for a while, but now it seems like almost everyone I know has a blog, whether it's blogspot, MSN Spaces, My Space, or other host sites! I love being able to read about what's going on in my friends' lives, but I also find myself interested in the lives of friends of friends. There seems to be no end to it all, but I don't know where to draw the line. How do you guys manage it all??
I love getting to know people so I just keep reading. I need to learn to do this as well in person as I do through writing.
I need to go to sleep.
I need to start my days off by spending time with God. I got out of this habit on April 20th...and it shows...
Good night all.

I am tired, sore, and emotional.... It must be the day after Jr. High Weekend - the 2nd day of hard goodbyes. Some of these people I may not see for a year or never see again. With others there is a hope that I will see them again soon. It is this hope that helps me to get through, that helps me to continue on.

I had so much fun last night. And as I think about it, I realize that it is a small way in which God is telling me that it will be okay. There were 7 of us hanging out in the dorm last night, 5 of whom I never hang out with. There was Kiah, Kendall, Ashley, Grant, Greg, Craig, and myself. After acting out a "game" of Sloth Sunday, we got a bit of energy and ended up making a fort in the dorm lounge using half of the staircase, couches, chairs, cushions, and blankets...oh and the TV! It was a pretty sweet fort. My friends who were leaving today were still greatly on my heart and mind, but they had gone to bed already. I almost did the same a couple times, but I forced myself to hang out, and I'm glad I did because it was such a great night...especially because we were all so out of it. I got video footage of Sloth Sunday. Perhaps you can check it out some day.

Today I started moving into Danielle's house. I wish it wasn't raining, but oh well. I'm excited for Karla to get back and for all of us to get into some sort of routine. I am so thankful that we have 2 days off before we start cleaning because I don't know if I would be capable of much for these 2 days. Anyways, I think more people might be leaving soon, so I should go and possibly empty my tear ducts again, but maybe not because only 2 people have made me cry so far...