Friday, September 29, 2006

No energy, on any level. Please pray.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Just one of those days...

I don't know if I am in a contemplative mood but can't think of what to contemplate, or if I am searching for something but not finding it, or if there is something missing in my life but I am unsure of what it is. I feel lost today. It's like I'm going through the motions of the day but nothing's really connecting. I feel empty. I feel alone. Guess it's just one of those days.

Reality in Vancouver

Will the coming of the 2010 Olympics finally cause people to do something to help the homeless in downtown Vancouver? It has been said that the number of homeless people in Vancouver will triple by 2010, that people are worrying about what the millions of visitors will think about Vancouver, and that something needs to be done. You can read about it here. I am interested to see what ideas are brought forth to "deal with" this issue. Will something actually be done to help people? Or will something be done to "sweep them under the rug"? I know there are some people and groups who have been trying to help the homeless for many years. Will they finally get support from the city of Vancouver and the provincial and federal governments
While I am happy that something might actually be done to really help the homeless in Vancouver, I find it sad that something might be done only to keep or improve the image of Vancouver. Saving the image, not the people. Good thing Someone else is concerned with saving the people.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I get to go back to that beautiful wonderful place called Eston, the home of some of my wonderful friends...my FGBC family!!! Happiness abounds! Joy! Exuberance! Haha! Ya, I'm excited!!! It will be a relatively short visit, but I plan to make the most of it! HEE HEE HEE!!! I have not been this happy since...ya, I don't know when. My eyes are wide with excitement, my heart is full of joy...*Sigh. So content:)

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Home is where the heart is

When I got home today, my niece came running to the door, yelling "Auntie Sylva! Auntie Sylva!" (ya, she can't say my name right just yet). Then she asked, "So, what do you want to do with me today?" How could I resist? It was raining and it was almost time for supper so we couldn't do much, but we got in a couple games of Go Fish, Snap, and Huckle Buckle Beanstalk (using an Eeyore figurine as the object to hide and find). During this time, my niece said at least 3 times that she loved me and that she liked me. I feel so bad though because I love her and like her too, but my heart is so far from this place. My heart is very much still at FGBC and with my friends from there (wherever they may be). I am back home with my family (and sort of with 2 friends, but not really), but I feel like I am settling for something less. Maybe it is moreso sacrificing. It is probably the easiest sacrifice to some people, because I really do have it good here, but because throughout my whole life my friends have been so important to me, it feels like the ultimate sacrifice to not be with them. I believe it will get easier once I make some close friends (or even just one)...
To my friends from FGBC, I love you all and miss you so very very much!

Monday, September 11, 2006

Passionate about...

I admit that I have not opened my eyes to very many things in this world, which could explain why there are so few things I am passionate about in life. There are a few people who I have gotten to know who I can see such great potential in that I will do everything I can to see them succeed. I usually try to help everyone I can, but some people have let me into their lives, allowing me to see more ways to help them excel. These people I am passionate about.

Full Gospel Bible College - my life was transformed during my time there. I know that God is at work in all aspects of that College. I believe in the direction the leadership there has taken and plans to take. I am passionate about FGBC and that is why I will support it in any way I can.

Northview Community Church here in Abbotsford is the first church I "tried" since moving back here. It has been about 2 months since I started going there and I believe in the direction the leadership seems to be taking the church. I am passionate about the Church and my church and that is why I want to get involved in my church.

There are many more things that I have come to appreciate over the last couple years, but I am looking for more things to learn about in more depth, partly for knowledge, but also to find more things in life that I might be passionate about. What are you passionate about?

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

How often does this happen I wonder?

'When I called, they did not listen; so when they called, I would not listen,' says the LORD Almighty. (Zechariah 7:13)

Zechariah

A few days ago I was thinking of what I wanted to read in the Bible. I decided that because I am least familiar with the end of the Old Testament that I would start there. I began reading Zechariah and was immediately drawn in. I thought I would have to force myself to read even a section of a chapter, but I have found myself reading more than I plan on every time. As Zechariah is a fairly short book, I expect to be done in the next day or two. The few times I have read Zechariah there is a sentence or verse that jumps out at me. The most recent to me was:

8 " 'Listen, High Priest Joshua, you and your associates seated before you, you who are symbolic of things to come: I am going to bring my servant, the Branch. 9 See, the stone I have set in front of Joshua! There are seven eyes [c] on that one stone, and I will engrave an inscription on it,' says the LORD Almighty, 'and I will remove the sin of this land in a single day.'"

'and I will remove the sin of this land in a single day.'

This line has given me a new perspective on the power, authority, and awesomeness of God.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

BETHANY DILLON
"Great Big Mystery"

Air is dry, the sun is gone
When I breathe, I breathe alone
Ten times a day I cry
Just to prove that I'm alive
Oh, that I'm alive

I have tried to be the queen
I have tried most everything
Leads me to the same place
On my knees or on my face
On my knees or on my face

Nations fall when You speak
And You have spoken over me
I am tired of giving in so easily

The way You keep on loving me
Is changing everything I see
It's a great big mystery

The fingers on my weathered bow
Are giving out and letting go
I need You now to take me in
I cannot fight alone again
Can't fight alone again

You are the mystery

???!

"Be still before the LORD, all people, because he has roused himself from his holy dwelling." (Zec. 2:13)

I was reading Zechariah last night and came across this verse. It stirred up both joy and fear within me. It gave me a hope that the Lord has not left us completely to ourselves. It scared me because I do not know what to expect.

I had stopped spending time on my knees and on my face before God (not sure how many days/weeks it was). Two or three days ago I thought about reading my Bible and was really stuggling with the desire to do so. That is when I knew I was in trouble. I forced myself to get back into His Word and to get on my knees and face before him once again. He was right there, waiting for me once again. I have to wonder how many times I can "get away with this". Seventy times seven? Is there a limit to His forgiveness? After all that I have put Him through, after all that this world has put Him through, I believe the only limit is that we have to ask for His forgiveness. But is that even true? He forgave us all on the cross. I have been taught that even if you think you need to forgive someone, you should do so even if they don't ask because they don't think they need it (or deserve it). So if God has forgiven us, we are forgiven, whether we accept it or not. But then where does hell (whether a lake of fire, separation from God or something else - I will be getting into this on my other blog soon) fit into this? Where does His justice fit in? He continues to be a mystery to me.

Oh eternal Trinity! Oh divine Godhead! You are a deep sea into which the deeper I enter the more I find and the more I find the more I seek. -Catherine of Siena