Children and Violence

22 children and 1 adult injured in knife attack at primary school gate in China's Henan province - state mediahttp://t.co/OgyFLCGN
Police in Newtown: "20 children, six adults and gunman killed at school, another dead at second scene" http://t.co/IS9R6v0P

With these two tragedies that happened yesterday my heart continues to break for this world, and I continue to be stirred to action. For better or for worse the current action I am taking is more schooling, starting with the Social Services field. What I realized this morning, however, is that I need to educate myself on more current events, laws, policies, organizations, etc.

I decided to start with the United Nations. I went to www.un.org (English) and did a search for "children". There were many stories that came up (about 193,000) and on the right-hand side were the following options to narrow my search:



Sadly, this list did not surprise me. The reason I returned to my studies in the Social Services area was to get involved in stopping and preventing the use of child soldiers. I have since broadened my sights to human trafficking in general, but hearing these stories and reading this list increases my desire to help children. As difficult as it will be, I look forward to learning more and getting involved.

Expectation, fear, hope...

I was going through my twitter feed today and came across a tweet from Joyce Meyer:
"Live with the expectation that God is going to do something wonderful for you today!"

This brought an immediate sense of excitement, followed very quickly by an overwhelming sense of fear. For as long as I can remember I have been afraid to get my hopes up, afraid to expect good things. Outwardly I tend to not show hope or expectation. Perhaps as an attempt to harden myself to the pain of disappointment. Inwardly, however, that hope remains. Perhaps because the greatest hope I have ever had has not been disappointed. For that reason I continue to hold on, to have hope.

Flicker

Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. Genesis 1:2.

This verse seems to reflect how I see my life right now.

Formless, empty, dark. I am in a dark mindset that I have not been able to escape for quite some time now. I cannot think of anything new in my life that would have caused me to get into this mindset, which I think makes it worse. The things in life that used to bring me much joy, now are just a flicker of light in this overwhelming darkness. That light is a beautiful thing to see, but as soon as it's gone, it's almost like it was never there. I don't like this. I have talked with a few people about it. I have asked for prayer. I have prayed. But it's like my eyes are glazed over and I cannot see the truth.

BUT...

There is an awareness of the truth that the Spirit of God is hovering...planning and working in my life. Knowing what comes next in the Creation story gives me hope for new life to be stirred within me. Life that I can truly live out. One day I hope to be able to expand on this.

Denial

In the midst of everything that's going on in my head and heart these days, there is one piece of Scripture that keeps coming to mind: "Deny yourself". I used to think more about what follows that statement ("take up your cross"), but the words "Deny yourself" are much more prevalent for me right now. For a brief, but helpful commentary click here.
Within half an hour tonight, I was strongly tempted 3 separate times in the area of snacks/desserts. All 3 times I thought I was going to give in. After struggling to hold out buying something the first 2 times, I prayed for strength. When the 3rd time came along, it was even harder...possibly because it was already in my house. I was repeating "Deny yourself" over and over again, but I was ready to give in. Then out of nowhere I found the strength to throw it in the garbage and walk away.