Sunday, June 19, 2005

Well, between my talk with Coralee last night(/this morning) and church this morning, my mind and heart have been overflowing once again concerning youth. I have always had a desire to work with teens. I hear people say so many times that, yes, youth have problems, but they aren't important problems, that when they are older they will look back and see how trivial those problems were or else they will not even remember some of them. Sure, maybe it is a "stage" that most teenagers go through, but the physical, emotional, and spiritual state that they are in at any given time is extremely important. In fact, I believe their experiences and how they work through these things at this age and into their early 20s have dramatic life changing results. We have gotten a lot better by giving our youth a voice and encouraging them to do great things, yet we do not seem as willing to try to understand them and support them as they walk through their own daily trials/battles. I was thinking about how, ya, there may be organizations and people to help youth, but I do not see enough people really reaching out and letting the youth know that they really care about them and that they want to be there to support them and give them some direction.

Friday, June 17, 2005

63 DAYS TILL MY LAST DAY OF WORK!!! The cleaning job I knew would be fine, but I wasn't sure about VersaCold because when I took the job, they wanted me to commit to the end of August, but I asked about it today and they are fine with August 19th being my last day. I am SO EXCITED!!! 63 days...wow...seems so short saying it that way compared to saying a couple months!

A couple weeks ago, my boss at the cleaning job told me that I wasn't going to be cleaning one of the houses anymore because they are REALLY picky. I was fine with this 'cause it gave me a morning off for a change. I guess she cleaned the place yesterday and there was a note there saying that when I cleaned it, it was like I flipped over a mat and then left. I don't know what that was all about 'cause I knew they were picky so I took extra care with their place...and I don't think it takes 4 hours to flip over a mat, though I've never tried jsut doing that. Anyways, this morning my boss told me that she was siding with me 'cause she knows my work and so she cancelled that client all together.

I took my car in to get fixed this morning. Haven't heard anything back yet. Thankfully I made other arrangements to get to work today. I just hope I can still get my car today or tomorrow (even though they won't be open) and that it doesn't cost too much.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Some people were talking at work last night about volunteering at places that help the homeless, etc. But they were saying how that a certain Christian place won't take non-Christian volunteers. I just sat there quietly, not knowing what I thought about it and not knowing what to say. The more I thought about it, however, the clearer things became to me. While I understand this organization's reasoning (they want the people they help to understand they are being helped by God, and the people who volunteer there can point the people in the right direction). But the fact that this place (and probably others) is turning away volunteers because they are not Christians leaves those turned down with another reason to not want anything to do with Christianity. If non-Christian volunteers are able to work with the Christian volunteers, perhaps each "side" will be able to better understand the other. The non-Christians may or may not accept Christ, but the Christian volunteers will be pushed in finding out just how real their faith is to them. Why should we stop non-Christians from helping others? What is our reason behind helping other people? I say "we" and "our" because these people are my family in Christ. I do not like the reputation this family is getting because of the actions of certain members in it. There are some times when it is right to be rejected because of our faith, but this situation is not one of those times!

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Engagements, weddings, babies...it's not even me and I don't know if I can handle it all!!!

Anyways...I'm thinking of teaching ESL back home in Abbotsford for a year or 2 so I can gain some experience (an keep up with those friendships) before going to teach overseas and before returning to school again. We shall see though.

I have been wanting more time and God has been giving it to me. I am so thankful.

Friday, June 10, 2005

Well, Brad and Angelina are just going to have to wait until tomorrow. At least I hope it's only until tomorrow.
I did not have a good wakeup call this morning, well, it was okay, but it was too early. I was so tired, I just about couldn't even move to pick up the phone. And unfortunately I couldn't get back to sleep afterwards.
Christian Bookstores tend to be a major downfall for me. I went to one this morning and ended up spending just over $90!!! But it was worth it:)
I am so tired, but I have to leave for work in like an hour:( I hope we get out really early tonight. Around 9pm would be good! Last Friday it was around 10pm or 10:30pm. We shall see. AdiĆ³s! (Wow...I just realized I was posting at this time last night!).
Well, it is 2:02am and I don't feel like going to sleep.

I am really cold right now...mostly my fingers and my toes.

I have heard a number of people say that they think Christ is coming back soon. I'm not sure what I think about that. I mean, sure it's nearer than any other previous time, but they are making it sound like it's tomorrow or something. Now, I'm all for that: if Christ wants to come back, then it's the right time and I have no problem with His return. But I can't stop thinking of the many people over the centuries who have believed Christ's return would happen in their lifetime, and yet it did not.

You know who I've been admiring as of late? Paul. So often I think to myself, "I'm only human. I make mistakes. I don't want people to follow me because I don't want to lead them astray, since I am not as Christ-like as I should be (or want to be). But Paul was confident in the life he was living. He knew that he was following Christ and setting a good example for others. Someone else I admire: David, "a man after God's own heart". David was always real before his God. He went to Him during all stages of his life.
I am tired of saying: "I want to spend time with God." or "I know I should pray more." or "I need to seek God's face." I can't just keep saying these things. The only thing that will make a difference is actually doing these things!

I am still being continually blessed! While I was near the start of my shift yesterday, I started talking with a couple of the girls who work on the daytime shift. Turns out they are both Christians. One of them, Rachel, has been working there for a few years I think, and the other one (Sherry-Lynn I think is her name) just started yesterday or the day before. It is so nice to be able to meet new people who are close in age to me. A couple of the girls (Rachel and Jamie) are 26 and a few of the guys are 27, but the 3 ladies I directly work with are 50, 54, and 57. That surprised me 'cause I thought they were in their late 30s - early 40s! I think I'm the youngest person working at that place (so weird going from being one of the oldest at school to the youngest at work).

I got my transcript back from school on Monday. I am so excited! I did better in my classes this past semester than in any of my previous semesters. I knew I learned how to think!!! (Now I just need to learn how to talk well and it'll be all good!).

Well, now it's 2:41am and I still don't want to go to sleep, but I guess I should anyways. I'm planning on going to see Mr & Mrs Smith tomorrow afternoon. SO EXCITED!!!

Goodnight.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

1. God is good.
2. Italy...I wanna go!
3. The rain is subsiding:)
4. Stupid bad dreams (mainly involving car accidents, but other stuff as well) not stopping!
5. Still not setting my priorities straight (ie. not giving God my time).
6. Got full damage deposit back:)
7. Did better in my classes this past semester than any other:)
8. Excited to go home in 17 days!
9. Anxious to get back to school.
10. Gotta go to work now.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

This really stood out to me today, so I decided to share it with you:

Psalm 19

For the director of music. A psalm of David.

1 The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
2 Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they display knowledge.

3 There is no speech or language
where their voice is not heard.

4 Their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun,

5 which is like a bridegroom coming forth from his pavilion,
like a champion rejoicing to run his course.

6 It rises at one end of the heavens
and makes its circuit to the other;
nothing is hidden from its heat.

7 The law of the LORD is perfect,
reviving the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.

8 The precepts of the LORD are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant,
giving light to the eyes.

9 The fear of the LORD is pure,
enduring forever.
The ordinances of the LORD are sure
and altogether righteous.

10 They are more precious than gold,
than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey,
than honey from the comb.

11 By them is your servant warned;
in keeping them there is great reward.

12 Who can discern his errors?
Forgive my hidden faults.

13 Keep your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me.
Then will I be blameless,
innocent of great transgression.

14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Friday, June 03, 2005

Well, I totally lost it at work (cleaning) this morning. It was about an hour into my shift and I just sat on the people's couch and started crying. They had The Blue Day Book sitting on the table, so I went through that. This is the first time that book has not brought a smile to my face. I couldn't stop crying. I went on with my cleaning, with tears running down my face. The crying lasted for about an hour, but even when I was done crying, I still had (and have) this sad/lost/empty/lonely feeling that is consuming me. One more shift to go for the day. Friday's are usually pretty slow, so hopefully we can get out of there by 9 or 10 tonight.
Earlier this week I realized I was trying to gain the approval of one of the guys at work. (Now, we don't work in the same office, but we work the same shift). (And I'll just straighten things out first...I don't "like" him, he has a long time gf, and he's not a Christian). He reminds me so much of my brother, so I think that is why I was trying to gain his approval. So on Wednesday I was just "soaring" when I realized I had gotten it. I feel respected by him now.
It was really weird last night. I was sitting at my desk, entering stuff into the system, when I became completely overwhelmed and just wanted to take a break or go to bed and cry. It wasn't the work...I still like that...I just got overemotional. And there wasn't time to take a break, so I stayed at my desk and forced the tears back.
I am so happy it is Friday. 2 places to work at, then a couple days to sleep and recover.
Things are going so-so with me and God. It's more like this:
Me: God, please tell me..., please show me....
God: I'm trying, but you're not taking the time to listen or to see.