Saturday, September 02, 2006

???!

"Be still before the LORD, all people, because he has roused himself from his holy dwelling." (Zec. 2:13)

I was reading Zechariah last night and came across this verse. It stirred up both joy and fear within me. It gave me a hope that the Lord has not left us completely to ourselves. It scared me because I do not know what to expect.

I had stopped spending time on my knees and on my face before God (not sure how many days/weeks it was). Two or three days ago I thought about reading my Bible and was really stuggling with the desire to do so. That is when I knew I was in trouble. I forced myself to get back into His Word and to get on my knees and face before him once again. He was right there, waiting for me once again. I have to wonder how many times I can "get away with this". Seventy times seven? Is there a limit to His forgiveness? After all that I have put Him through, after all that this world has put Him through, I believe the only limit is that we have to ask for His forgiveness. But is that even true? He forgave us all on the cross. I have been taught that even if you think you need to forgive someone, you should do so even if they don't ask because they don't think they need it (or deserve it). So if God has forgiven us, we are forgiven, whether we accept it or not. But then where does hell (whether a lake of fire, separation from God or something else - I will be getting into this on my other blog soon) fit into this? Where does His justice fit in? He continues to be a mystery to me.

Oh eternal Trinity! Oh divine Godhead! You are a deep sea into which the deeper I enter the more I find and the more I find the more I seek. -Catherine of Siena

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