Communion

I checked my voicemail when I got home today, and had a message from somebody at my church. She asked if I was going to the Tenebrae service tomorrow night and if I was if I would be interested in helping serve Communion.

I love the sacrament of Communion. I am humbled by the very word. It became more meaningful to me while I was going to Bible College. I remember one year, probably my 3rd year, we were all sitting in the cafeteria sharing Communion at each table. That was the first time I had led anyone in Communion and I was honored to do so.

I remember those words: "The Lord Jesus, on the night He was betrayed, took bread, and when He had given thanks He broke it and said, 'This is my body, which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.' The same way He took the cup saying, 'This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this whenever you drink it in remembrance of me.' For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until He comes."

Thank You Lord for Your sacrifice. May we honor You through the Sacrament of Communion.

Me & Haiti

I sit here in the peaceful silence; just a few clocks ticking and a few vehicles driving by on the streets below. It is strange sitting here like this, knowing the disaster that has fallen upon Haiti. Thousands are dead, and thousands injured. I have seen coverage of it on the news, and it has moved me, but I did not really grasp the intensity of it until I thought of how the same tragedy would look here. It has been said that the death toll (50,000 as of 12 hours ago) could reach 200,000. That is more than the population of Abbotsford. I cannot imagine that this place where I have spent the majority of my life could cease to exist in a matter of 30 seconds. I cannot imagine the cries of pain coming out from underneath piles of debris. I cannot imagine being caught under that debris, crying out, not knowing if anyone will be able to get me out. I cannot imagine losing my family and friends just like that. I cannot imagine the cries of agony and terror of parents who have lost their children. I see bits and pieces of people's reactions on tv, but there would be nothing like living through it myself. My heart aches for the people of Haiti, and for people who had/have loved ones in Haiti. I cannot bring myself to turn on the tv, to see the devastation. It would be too overwhelming right now. Instead, I sit here, wondering what I can do to be involved in a hands-on environment. There must be something...

Be silent, be still

I came here and started writing a dialogue, except that one side of the conversation was not written, only implied. It was very strange to have that come to me the way it did. I have saved it, in case one day I know what to do with it, but for now...well, here I am, finally writing something after 3.5 months of absence.

I noticed last week, in the midst of my own excitement, that many others also seemed excited (or at least their facebook statuses made it seem that way!). I began to wonder if there really was a new excitement bursting through the pain, anger, and sorrow that is often running rampant. Finally, a new shift in life? But now I am beginning to wonder if it was just due to the weather. Now that fall is here and winter is trying to make an early start, the excitement seems to have been shot down. There is still a little here and there, but it is being overcome by busyness.
Let us take time to slow down in the midst of it all. Walk among the trees, sit by the water, enjoy a warm beverage, and be still. Let us not be overcome by the rush of life, but instead let us close our eyes for a moment and just be.

The Word

While watching the movie "Facing the Giants" a few days ago, I was once again inspired to really dig into the Bible. I want to be so familiar with God's Word that I am able to discuss and work through everyday life with biblical stories and ideas constantly coming to mind as I do so. I have started to get into 1 Kings, and am excited to read more and more.

Come Lord Jesus, Come!

As I was driving down South Fraser Way, honking the horn, with a Canucks flag waving out my window...celebrating this wonderful 3-0 lead in the series...I was also listening to Praise 106.5 FM. Being in a long line of traffic, celebrating the Canucks with the rest of the city, and worshiping God, I began thinking about Palm Sunday and about the Second Coming. I have had Philippians 2:10-11 on my mind for a while, and even moreso now: "at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." I am so excited!!!!

A little at a time

I was going to write about my re-discovered love for the library, but I'm not sure where to go with it. So I will leave it at the fact that the 2 most recent books I have borrowed from the library are "Patrick" by Stephen Lawhead and "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho.

Instead, I will write briefly about charities and my limited finances. I am continually surprised by how many phone calls and letters I receive from various charities asking for "only $25" or whatever. One time when somebody asked for that, I told them that my finances were not good at the time, and that I actually only had $25 a month left over for food for myself. Thankfully I have gotten my full hours back at work, so my finances are back on track, but I am still cannot give to everyone who phones and writes. I'm still not too sure how to choose between them all, but sometimes there are a couple that just "feel right" at the time. This actually got me thinking about God. I mean, how many people ask Him for things every second of every day? Yet His supply is endless!

No words

For the last month I have had stuff to write about, but haven't felt like writing. Now that I want to write, I can't think of what to write about. Maybe I'll try again later...

God, help us...

Think carefully about what you will be reading...

Mary had a little Lamb,
It's fleece was white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
The Lamb was sure to go.

It followed her to school each day,
It was against the rules.
It made the children laugh and play,
To have a Lamb at school.

And then the rules all changed one day,
Illegal it became;
To bring the Lamb of God to school,
Or even speak His Name!

Every day got worse and worse,
And days turned into years.
Instead of hearing children laugh,
We heard gun shots and tears.

What must we do to stop the crime,
That's in our schools today?
Let's let the Lamb come back to school,
And teach our kids to pray!

Square or Diamond?

I like Shreddies and all, but give me a break...THEY ARE THE SAME!!!!!!
Now, if they added some kind of sugar coating to make the "diamond" ones appear to sparkle, that would be a different story.

Creative outlet?

I want to make something...build something...anything. When we put our bookcase together last year, something hit home with me. It hit me again tonight when I was opening the TV remote. Using a screwdriver, a hammer, screws, nails, boards...it all just felt so right in my hands. I have been wanting to buy a dresser for a while now. Tonight I thought about attempting to make my own. I think I'll hold off on something that big for now, but maybe I'll go find something this week to practice on.

Review of 2008 (facebook note)

2008: In The Beginning
Where did you bring in the New Year?: Cedar Grove Baptist Church in Surrey.
Who were you with?: Rachel, sort of Lisa and Dave, and a lot of people I don't know.
Did you kiss anyone at midnight and who?: Nope.
Did you make any resolutions?: No.

2008: Your Love Life
Did you break up with anyone?: No.
Did you get anything for Valentine's day?: Nope.
Did you meet anyone special?: No.
Did you fall in love?: No.

2008: Friends and Enemies
Did you meet any new friends this year?: Yes.
Did any of your friendships end?: Yes.
Did you dislike anyone?: Yes.
Did you make any new enemies?: I'm not sure.
Did you resolve any fights?: Not exactly.
Who was your closest friend?: Sarah and Rachel.
Who did you grow apart from?: Friends from various parts of my life.
Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?: Sometimes.

2008: All about YOU
Did you change at all this year?: Yes
Did you dye your hair?: No.
Did you get your hair cut?: Yes
Did you change your style?: Not really.
Were you in school?: No, but I do miss it.
Did you get good grades?: N/A
Did you have a job?: 2...EV and Cur-Quin
Did you drive?: Yes...longest drive was to Eston and back.
Did you own a car?: Yep, and it's surprisingly still holding on.
Did anyone close to you give birth?: Quite a few...and they're still coming!
Did you move at all?: No...for a change.
Did you go on any vacations?: Yes. Eston, roadtrip with Sarah, and Vegas!
Did you leave the country at all?: Yes (see above).

2008: Wrap Up.
Was 2008 a good year?: It had its ups and downs.
Did 2008 bring any new insights?: Yah.
Do you think 2009 will top 2008?: Yes. I expect great things for 2009.

A Good Visit

My mom and I went to my grandma's yesterday for our bi-weekly visit. These visits always consist of playing Scrabble and Saskatchewan Rummy, but other than that they can vary. Yesterday we ended up playing Blackjack as well. Little things (like turning the first card face-up) were really getting to us in a good way. One of the best quotes of the day was by my grandma when she answered the phone, "I just have to take out my hearing-aid so I can hear." Numerous times we broke out into hysterical laughter. It was a good visit, one that brought back memories of how our visits always used to be.

Grandma

I love my grandma. She will be 85 tomorrow, but we celebrated her birthday today. It is getting harder and harder to visit her because she is feeling the effects of old age in both her physical health and her mental health. We still have normal conversations and we still play card games and Scrabble, but she is starting to really struggle with these things she has done her whole life. It is very hard to watch because she and my mom and I are so much alike, so it's like seeing where I could be at in 50 some odd years. And it is hard because she is the only grandparent I have ever really had. When I was driving her home tonight she said the family needs to start taking things from her place because she won't always be around for that stuff and she wants to know where her things end up. While I know she won't always be around, that is something I don't like to think about. When I do think about it, my eyes start to well up. I love my grandma very much and I am so thankful for the time we've been able to spend together over the years.

Goodbye EV, Hello life

I swiped out for the last time today. I turned in my card, my key, and my stamp, hugged co-workers goodbye, and walked out. I have no regrets in taking the job at EV and I have no regrets in leaving it. I met some wonderful people who I will miss seeing on a regular basis, but I know I will see some of them outside of work still. As I was driving towards the main road, I had one somewhat sad moment: I would not see the amazing view of the sun coming over the mountains as I leave work in the mornings. I will, however, have many opportunities to see both sunsets and sunrises in new places. I am already enjoying knowing that I will be on a normal sleep schedule again after 2 years of switching between sleeping during the day when I worked and during the night on my weekends. While my overtime at EV is paying off now, I am hopeful that I will soon be working for a company that will allow me to have a set schedule. I look forward to this next part of my journey.

CSI

What is it with this show? I can sit and watch it for hours. It's more addicting than facebook! Even if it's episodes I've seen recently I will still sit there and watch it. If there was channel CSI, I would likely be a subscriber. For the amount that I watch it, I can't believe I still have a lot of episodes to watch. Maybe one day I will invest in buying the series. I know most of the show is not flimed in Vegas, but I wonder if I can find a CSI jacket or something while I'm there...

Update?

I want to update, but I don't know what to write, so I leave you with this:

I have a headache.
I want a McFlurry.
I need a job.
I am excited about Vegas.
I want more, yet I am content.

Well, there's a 1/2 hour left before I check out the new 90210. Just enough time to go get that McFlurry...

Venting

I need to vent, but I don't know how. There's so much going on, yet there's nothing going on. I want to throw things, I want to scream, I want it all to be over, I want to cry, I want to let go, I want to hold on. I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm scared, I'm confused. I feel like I have so much bottled up inside of me that I just can't let out. It's like it (whatever "it" is) is so deeply rooted that it can't be pulled out, or it is under so much pressure that it's going to burst any time now. I feel like a walking time-bomb. It's work, it's friends, it's God, it's...I don't know what it is! The one person I came to really trust since coming back to Abby, the one person who I felt I could be honest with, who understood me, has moved away. I didn't even get to say goodbye (or see ya). Those moments are so important to me, so I do what I can to ensure it happens. This time it didn't work. I miss my friend...a lot. It's times like these when I lose sight of the importance of relationships. Sometimes it seems like it would be so much easier to not care...much less heartache. I am so sick of people having almost every excuse in the book not to go into work. And as much as I love my place of employment for wanting to help people out, willing to give the many chances, I hate it at the same time because people take advantage of it, knowing their not going to get fired. I'm sick of my schedule (and a few other people's schedules) getting changed around so much. I put up with it for now, saying it's only temporary, but it's hard to deal with, especially lately with all this other crap going on. I hate how there are and have been so many people (whom I have considered friends) making random trips to the Vancouver area, but don't even mention they're coming let alone attempt a visit. I'd vent about God too, but what's the point...He's right, I'm wrong.

A poem I came across in an email

You're...
My friend,
My companion,
Through good times and bad,
My friend,
My buddy,
Through happy and sad,
Beside me you stand,
Beside me you walk,
You're there to listen,
You're there to talk,
With happiness,
With smiles,
With pain and tears,
I know you'll be there, throughout the years!

Quite the Encounter

Everlasting God (by Lincoln Brewster)

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
Wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
Wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
Our God You reign forever
Our Hope our strong Deliverer

You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary

You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles

While I was at Encounter Weekend in Eston a few weeks ago, we were singing this song. I was standing on the balcony of the church, looking out over everyone gathered in the sanctuary. I was overwhelmed as I sang these words, for the thoughts that came to me were that God is our strength when we wait on Him, and that because we are His children we take on some of His characteristics.
He is the everlasting God - the things He was speaking to us that weekend will remain with us. We will not forget and we will not ignore. We will take what He said and go with it.
As His children, we need to be defending the weak, comforting those in need, and encouraging and supporting each other.
I did not leave this weekend on a "spiritual high" like I usually would. I like those spiritual highs because they give me that extra bit of strength I need to keep going or to help me see more clearly. But this time it seems as though there was a seed planted deep within, a seed that will not be neglected but will grow over time and spring up suddenly. Even before this weekend I knew that I was in the midst of a long-term "waiting game" (and have been for quite a few years now). I was assured this weekend that I have not missed my chance, but that I have a few more years of waiting. The question I have now is, what will I do during this time of waiting? How do I prepare for the unknown? I will spend time with Him. I will not waste my time away. I will wait purposefully.

Justice

Why is this word popping up every which way I turn? Books, movies, radio, conferences.... It's driving me crazy!

"He has shown all you people what is good. And What does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8 TNIV