Wednesday, October 01, 2003

I think I may have realized this morning why I don’t often open up to people. I know I’m not the only one in this position, so I just hope this can encourage others out there. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, who I have opened up to in the past has, in one way or another, been taken away from me after just a short time. I have been seeing the beginning stages of this cycle occuring with a few people recently. My first thoughts were that I should just back off before I get hurt, but I know that is not the right thing to do. No matter how other people respond, I need to continue showing the love of God to them. This goes against my ways of self-protection and puts me in a position of vulnerability which I need to learn to grow in. I am beginning to understand the saying “it’s better to have l.o.v.e.d and lost than never to have l.o.v.e.d at all.” I cannot control people's reactions, but I can control my actions and my attitude. I was thinking why I allow some people to get to know me and decided it was because I believe they can have a positive impact on my life. After coming to that conclusion, I realized that everyone can have that kind of impact on me, if only I would let them. I also realized that this is not a good way to view people. It is from my old way of thinking and I know that my new way of thinking needs to overpower the old way. I need to open up so others can see a different reflection of God's character. Sorry this was kinda jumbled.

No comments: