"I don't want to get my hopes up..."

While visiting Edmonton (GO OILERS GO!!!) this weekend I had the opportunity to find my way to a mall via transit. While on one of these lovely modes of transportation I overheard the above phrase which has lingered in my mind for the past couple days. Right away I knew I wanted to blog about it.

So what is it about this phrase that has caused me to ponder it as more than just a passing comment like I usually do? I guess it opened my eyes in a new way to the attitude of fear that seems to consume so many people. (I think there's more to it than that, but hopefully that will come out as I continue typing). We don't want to get our hopes up because we are afraid of being disappointed, afraid of having broken hearts. While this is understandable, as these feelings are painful and emotionally and physically draining, we cannot let this stop us from getting our hopes up, for when we truly get our hopes up it is because we really believe in the possibility and we are passionate about it.

And while it's important to keep each other accountable to living in reality, we also need to encourage one another to pursue our dreams. We don't do each other any good to say, "Don't get your hopes up." While we mostly say this to try to save each other from disappointment and heartache, I believe it subtly encourages apathy in those who hear it and in those who say it.

(And now comes the Devil's Advocate conversation running through my mind that usually stops me from sharing my thoughts)...

I was going to say that we need to keep each other accountable with our dreams by discussing the positives and negatives of them, asking the person to make sure they still want to follow this dream, then support them in any way we can to reach that dream.

As I thought about typing that, however, I had another thought run through my mind about how someone could decide that they still wanted to follow their dream even if the negatives out-weighed the positives, even if it would lead them to sin. If this was the case, I guess once they make the decision to follow through on their dream, that is when we need to let them know that we cannot support them while they continue on this path.

Regardless of which approach we take, based on which path they take, it is important that we be there for them even when the results are in. If they succeed in following their positive dream, we should celebrate with them and continue to encourage and support them. If they fail in either their positive or negative dream, we need to continue to love them, giving them an ear that will listen and a shoulder to cry on if it is needed.

(Bah, here we go again)...

If the person succeeds in their negative dream, this is where I do not know what to do. Do we leave them to themselves, knowing they will one day reap the consequences of what they have sown? Do we just look past it, staying in their life hoping they won't follow a similar path any time soon?

(Wow...not where I thought this was going)...

So they messed up. So what? We have all sinned. We have all needed love and forgiveness. Even if they don't want forgiveness for what they have done, is it still our responsibility to forgive them? And even if we do forgive them, that doesn't mean that we have to continue to stick with them, does it? Where are the boundaries for love? Are there any? To love 3 people doesn't mean you treat them the same way. People need to be loved in different ways. One person may need to be yelled at to make positive changes in their life, while another person might need to be talked to calmly, while still another person may need to be ignored to realize that they need to make a change.

I need to stop now before I change direction again. Thanks for your patience in reading all of this. I hope it made sense.