I went to Katie's funeral today. When I had found out there was going to be a viewing, I was happy. I thought it would make it more real to me. I didn't think I would have a problem with it. (Before I get into everything, I would just like to say how thankful I am that the pastor was sure to also mention Nikki and her funeral during the service, because it helped us to grieve them together). As we walked into where they were holding the service, I looked around and saw some pictures of Katie. She is such an amazing gi.rl! After looking at the pictures, I looked around a bit more...to the front. I saw the coffin and was fine, then I saw a bit of her face and had to look away. I wasn't as ready for this as I thought I was. Eventually a friend and I walked over to where she was. As I was looking at her, it was so sad...it was her body there, but it wasn't her there. I had to leave and go to my seat quickly. I ended up with an aisle seat and could see her easily. I didn't want to stare, but I couldn't draw my eyes away. After a long time (about 1/2 an hour or so) I started to see things a little differently...the way I had thought before, but could now see. Katie is such a fun, loving, full of life, joyful gi.rl. Her body was just a jar of clay that held all of that in. What we saw of her was only a dimmed light of who she really was. That light seemed bright to us all, but now that it is out in the open, flying free, it is all that much brighter. I was feeling bad for feeling this way because it seemed like nobody else could see it, so I thought maybe I was being insensitive. When the pastor talked, however, he spoke of 2 Corinthians 4:18b: "For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." Though what we could physically see of Katie has passed on, Katie herself, everything that she is, is still alive, more alive than ever before. On January 16th, I read a quote that hit me right away and still continues to be true: "I wish you long life and happiness - for your long life will be my happiness!" (Anonymous). As much as we would love to have more time here with Katie, she is the happiest she could ever be. For those who don't know Katie, here are a few of her favorite quotes and verses that were mentioned: "Don't say the sky's the limit...there are footprints on the moon." "Are you living or are you just breathing?" Joshua 1:9; Isaiah 40:31; 41:10; John 3:16. Love you Katie! See you soon!