I have had some wonderful, intimate moments with God the last 2 mornings. I treasure the time we have together. He has blessed me with a job that I enjoy (yes, I'm done complaining about it now) an, though I am only working on call, He has blessed me with work when I have been available to work. I've been having a hard time off and (mostly) on this summer with Katie and Nikki. I have been having troubles understanding why it has been so hard for me. I hardly knew either one of them, but I miss both of them greatly. I still cannot imagine the effect their dea.th has had on those who knew them more, who were close to them. I still dread the thought of losing someone close to me. I used to think that it would help me to have words to say to others in their grief if I had suffered a great loss. However, I have come to realize that there are never words to say, that just being there can be enough. I struggle with the concept of death. I don't believe it is God's plan because I have learned that sin is the corruption of good. Life is good and death is the corruption of that good life. God sent His Son that we may have LIFE! On the other hand, God could prevent anyone's death if He chose to do so, but He does not. Why? I guess it's like so many other things that God could prevent, but chooses not to. It reminds me of a book I read. Jesus is restraining Himself from doing so many things that He wants to do because He is waiting for us to be ready. Though there are so many things that could be done, as He restrains Himself, He does so for the greater good in the whole picture. Even in writing this, I am reminded of something I learned in class that moves us to somewhat of a different topic: we ask God to use us, but many times, we aren't being true to what we ask. The Spirit within us is asking, "Are you ready yet? Can we go now?" That's enough randomness for today.