A desire to be open with people, yet a fear of being too open. It is so hard to know which people are comfortable going to a deeper level. There are some people I want to go to a deeper level with, but after taking steps in that direction, the whole friendship seemed to be set back a lot. I know I can't do anything about other people's reactions, but facing my fear of rejection is something I am having a difficult time setting myself up to learn. I know I shouldn't care what people think, but I do. I don't know how to change that right now. I wish I could. I wish I could believe with all I am the truth that God is all I need. His opinion is the only one that should matter. This, however, brings me back to the seemingly contradictory statement of: We're supposed to be completely dependent upon and satisfied with God, but He gave us other people to have relationships with. People He uses to speak to us. I don't get it. I don't know if I ever will. This is not what's on my heart right now, well, not all of it anyways, but I don't know what the other stuff is yet, so I'm gonna go try to figure it out. Audios!