I got a card today in which one of my friends wrote some wonderful words about me. Part of me smiled, part of me cringed. It is always nice to hear people say nice things, but at the same time I know another part of myself. Even if others do not seem to see it, or if they do they don't say anything, I see it and God sees it. What other people think IS important to me. More important than it should be. Believing that they do not see this other side of me makes me feel safe. I do, however, wish that those who do see this side would tell me because sometimes I do not even see it myself. Knowing that God knows this part of me is difficult. Viewing Him as a parent is hard because I have been able to hide who I am from my parents, but I cannot hide who I am from God. There is nothing I can ever do to please Him. No matter what I do, I will never be good enough. This hurts. The only thing that gets me through this is the idea of His grace. Oh to fully understand this concept! Grace and unconditional love are 2 (of many) things I do not understand. I am extremely grateful for them, but I do not understand them.