Well, since we had our family Christmas on last Sunday, I stayed at my friends' place on Christmas Eve, then we went to his family's place for lunch and her family's palce for supper. I had fun, but it was weird being away from my family on Christmas day. And now (Christmas night) I'm staying at another one of my friend's places 'cause we decided to watch a movie tonight, then I'm gonna go to church with her tomorrow...it'll be weird but good. I used to go to this church when I was like 4. It's where I came home from one day and told my mom that witches aren't in heaven (from the prayer, "Our Father which art in heaven..."). I can't believe I'm only here for another week. It's good though. It'll be a good amount of time. It's been a much needed break that has helped me to start putting things into perspective. Mini-semester should be...interesting...with all the talk of self-protectiveness and blocked goals and repentance and what not.


I wish I could grasp the concept of a sinful nature, that the good I see and think I do/have/etc is not true goodness, but that sin has distorted everything I do and see. And I am seeing that being confused is a good thing because it makes me dependent on God, but how do I know if I am really depending on God and moving forward in Him or if I am just giving up and just going through life. If my perception is distorted by sin, how do I know if I am truly depending on God or if I just THINK I am depending on God? And if I'm not supposed to know these things, why am I being told to think about them and ask about them?


And why are we so blind to the sin in our own lives and the lives of others? And if we see it in other people's lives, why are we too afraid to love them in a way that challenges them to look at themselves and turn to God in those areas? And why when we start to become aware of sin in our own lives do we not deal with it directly? Why do we try to put it off to the side, perhaps to "deal with it later...when I have the time"? Why do we insist on being in control of our own lives even when we know we don't know what to do or know that we can't do anything? Why do we fight against God when He always has the best for us? Why is it so hard for us to trust Him?


...


And the questions never stop. I feel like I'm going round in circles with everything!

Well, after spending many hours at airports on Friday, I made it home. I spent Saturday with my family (my niece is SO cute!!!), then went to my friend's place that night. I got to see one of my friends who I haven't seen in like 3 years! It was so good. Sunday I went to church only to find out that that was the last service...ever...for my church.


So, I had been thinking of leaving my church for a couple years now, but I kept giving it another chance. Then I came home this Christmas with the attitude of "I'm going to find out what direction the church is going in, then see if I have anything to offer. If not, I will tell them that I am going to find another church." So, with my attitude changed from "I'm not getting anything out of this" to "What can I do?", my decision was made and I no longer have a home church. Odd. I've been going to that church for just over 9 years now. But this is giving me one part of the freedom I need to move on. Another part, which came about through a conversation with the friend I hadn't seen for 3 years, I can see coming. I've seen it coming for a while, but various conversations and events keep bringing it closer into being. It is something I really don't want to happen, because it in itself sucks, but it will give me more freedom to move on and go where God leads me.


I am excited to see the work God is doing in me even now over the holidays.


When I came home, there were 7 movies I wanted to see. One of them I think I will wait till video. I saw National Treasure. I enjoyed it. The other 5 I will hopefully see over the next couple of weeks.


We already had our family Christmas, but I'm going to have Christmas with my friends and their parents on Saturday. Then, if all goes well, I'll be going to stay with Kaleena somewhere between the 28th and 30th.


And just for an update...I have been doing some reading. I'm about 1/2 way through the 1st counseling book. I thought it was going to be really technical, but it's not. I'm enjoying it. It is a good book. God is working in me through it already.


I was thinking of my classes for next semester and other things that will be happening. I am excited to see what God has in store.


Well, gotta go. Have a good Christmas everyone!

I can't believe this semester is actually over. I finished my last exam this morning, we're about to eat lunch, then I'm off to Saskatoon, and finally to Abbotsford. I am so excited to go home! I get to see my niece tonight (even if she is sleeping). I hope she remembers me. It's going to be weird not having a bedroom anymore, but that's okay. I kinda like sleeping in the living room anyways. If all goes well, I will get my counselling books read and maybe even some of my assignments written out. I hope for this every break, but I can't usually seem to get into it, but I will have a lot of time at the airport, and hopefully I've become a bit more disciplined to be able to get these things done. But if not, that's okay. I mean, this is a vacation after all! *Oh no! Already on the verge of procrastination!!!*

Okay, so all afternoon and evening on Saturday, I finshed reading the LOTR (yes the whole thing), then that night I had a sleep over at Amy's with her and "the posse". It was great! We played Heartthrob (Amy couldn't get her mind off "Johnny"), then we watched 13 Going on 30 and finally got to sleep around 3:30am. I got up at 8:40am, came backto the school to do some kitchen laundry and get ready for church. After chucrch and lunch, I worked on my 10 page paper for Inklings, had supper, continued working on my paper, went to the Christmas presentation at the church (left early), continued working on my paper...finally finishing around 6am. Slept till about 7:30am, edited and printed off my paper, had a breakfast meeting, handed my paper in just before 9am, napped from about 10-10:30am, did some kitchen laundry, went to class, had lunch, went to class, played Mario Kart with Rach and Joss, phoned my mom, put some of MY laundry in, then went to take a nap from 4-5pm. Well, that nap turned into a deep sleep from 4-10:30pm (so I missed supper AND chapel...I am sad). I finished my laundry, visited with some people, then went back to sleep from about 12:30-7:30am. So in the span of 15 hours, I slept for about 13. I am now refreshed. Had a nice shower, a good breakfast, got caught up on my blog reading, and now here I am, keeping my site updated. I am happy. And even more so now because somebody...Din Din...is playing guitar in the lounge. Today I will study for my exams of which I have one (Inklings) on Thursday afternoon and one (Oral Communication) Friday morning.

Well, it took me a while to get around to it again, but I finally finished reading The Lord of the Rings. I am SO excited!!! And I'll be even more excited when I finish my 10 page paper that's due at 9am tomorrow morning. Well...kitchen laundry, church, lunch, start my paper, supper, finish my paper, sleep...if all goes well that is.

My left arm and shoulder are sore again. I'm not exactly sure what it is, but I think it's from the repetetive motion from folding kitchen laundry. I am, however, switching campus services next semester...back to making breakfast...I'm excited.


I had such a good night at the Christmas banquet last night. It was probably my favorite one yet. There are some people who just really end up surprising you when you get to know them...lots of people actually, but last night was one of those ones that just stands out.


Somebody asked me a question before the Christmas banquet started, which I ended up thinking about the reasoning behind it in negative terms. I didn't think about it until after the banquet, when I was on my own, doing kitchen laundry and afterwards. By the time I got around people again, I had been trying to change my mindset and think of the harmless reasoning behind the question. It kind of worked. I ended up watching The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (with Jim Carey) and talking with a friend. Turns out the thing that's strongly been on my heart and mind over the last month / month and a half ended up being the same for her last night. Must be the time of the year.


Well, we've got brunch pretty quick, then campus cleanup. I can't believe Christmas break starts in 6 days!!! I am so excited to see my niece!

Ok, my challenge is taken care of, well, that part anyways. I've been thinking for a long time that I need to get a mentor who is older than me, but for various reasons, well, ya...it hasn't been working. I've been talking to people about it and I've been more recognizing my need for one, but I've been hesitant in asking. But this morning, after my last post, I confronted my fears and asked Nancy P. to mentor me, so we'll be starting that next semester. Now I'm scared as to where that will take me, but I am trying to trust in God. I may be getting another official peer mentor, though this one will be both formal and informal, whereas the other one has been informal, which has also been good. Anyways, I've gotta run for class.

I'm being challenged right now. By God and other people (about the same thing). I do not know if I have the courage to face this challenge right now. I want to, sort of, but it scares me. Perhaps I will go do my part of it before class and see what happens. This has been a long time challenge, but it has beome more real over the last few days. Oh good...a distraction. OK, I'm going, I'm going.

Well, when I got back from Winnipeg I didn't think I would be doing any out-of-town travelling until Christmas. Last Friday I drove to S'toon, well, half an hour outside of S'toon) to cheer on the volleyball teams. It was fun. They couldn't hear me, unless they were serving on the side I was sitting on, but it was fun nonetheless. Then I spent Saturday afternoon and evening in S'toon. We watched The Forgotten and Alexander, with having dinner in between. Alexander was good. The Forgotten was good and highly entertaining. Dinner was good. But the best part of that day was the conversation. There was honesty without holding back. I wish I had this in all my friendships. Anyways, I ended up driving to S'toon again yesterday. This time I went with Vanessa. We watched Ladder 49, went to BP for dinner, shopped at Wal-Mart (I bought pink clothes :S), and went to McD's for icecream. Once again, the conversation over dinner and to and from S'toon was the highlight. I love one-on-one conversations with people. It helps me to get to know them (and them me) so much better. While last weekend there seemed to be, for the most part, a central topic, last night we talked about a variety of things, but with depth for the topics that needed it. Well, I have to go do some more homework. This is my break between lunch and supper. I am SO looking forward to dinner and a movie (IN TOWN!) tonight. It'll be good to hang out and relax with friends, who have basically become family.

I like to know where I was at the same time last year, so I decided to read my blog from last November 20th. I see not much has changed for this time of year. I've got a major paper due on Monday and I've only got my outline done. I will be busy tonight and tomorrow...and Monday perhaps (PLEASE NO!!!). I am doing a lot better when it comes to my feelings regarding my friendships. Some strange things have been happening in that arena. I am enjoying it, but it is taking a little while to get used to. It's actually been like this since the start of the year, with people suddenly showing that they want to spend time with me, and me opening my heart up to more people. I am so thankful for the friends I have. I am truly blessed to have them in my life. I have to plan a date with God for some time in the next 3 or 4 days...what shall we do? I have some ideas, but I'm not entirely sure yet. I'm excited for it though.

It's so good to be back in Winnipeg again! We had a good trip out here...lots of singing and laughing. We stayed in Regina on Wednesday night, and left around 7:30 Thursday morning. We stopped at a little restaurant in Moosomin for breakfast. I think it was called Country Squire Inn. Anyways...they had really good food, service, and prices. We were all pleased.


On the way to Winnipeg, I saw a sign for the Swinging Bridge in Souris, which I've been on, but nobody else in the car had, so I took them to see it. We were thinking how fun it would be to have a digital camera with us so we could do our own video of our adventures. Souris is a good town to sho.ot videos in. We had some fun and did the bridge scene from Shrek. It was great! Cara said she wanted to go to Starbuck's while we were here, so we ended up making a bit of a game with it when we saw a sign for the town of Starbuck, then the Starbuck Credit Union, then a coffee shop with a similar sign to Starbuck's. Though she has not yet got to a real Starbuck's...today though.


Cara, Mandy, and I went for coffee with Kyle last night, then after he left, we went to see a movie. We were going to watch Ladder 49, but it was 7:40pm and the next one didn't start till 10:05pm. We looked at some of the other movies and it was basically the same thing...we were too late or too early for them. There was one, however, that was starting at 7:50pm. Alfie. Now, I had remembered seeing previews or something for it, but I didn't remember what it was about. I'm a Jude Law fan, though, so I was up for it. We decided to be adventurous and go see a random movie. Mandy ended up asking somebody what the movie was about, but Cara and I didn't want to know so we didn't listen. Within about the first 10 minutes of the movie, I thought about walking out, but I decided to give it a chance. I was sitting a seat away from a couple gir.ls who were pretty vocal during the movie. I decided to watch the movie in more of a study way than just pure entertainment, so I was paying attention to the audience's reactions during the movie, and just seeing how accurately this movie reflects life "in the real world".


When the movie was done and we started talking about it, I realized how much of an impact Integrative Seminar has had on me. I mean, I knew it had, but I just got to see it in a new way. Int the theatre and driving through the city, I was just looking at people, desiring to reach out to them, to take them for coffee and just talk. I want to help them to see first that they are missing something, and second what that something is. Honestly, if I was driving and didn't have other people in the car, I would have stopped to talk to this one guy who was just sitting on a bench.


When we got back to Sarah's place, Cara and I, and eventually Mandy, were talking about the movie some more. We started questioning what holds us back from talking with people. I believe the major conclusion we came to is that we are afraid of not saying the right thing or not having the answers. This movie helped me to once again see that people in our world are lost, and that there are some who realize it and are looking for answers. I think I am finally at the point where I'm not really all that concerned about not having the answers. People need something. I have it. I just need to show them love the way I know how, and pray that God will work through me when I do.


The content of the movie was accurate and necessary. There were a few scenes where I was quite impressed with how they were portrayed on the screne. It's hard to describe without telling about the movie. All I have to say is give the movie a chance. Be warned about the se.xual content, but watch it nonetheless. And if possible, watch it with someone who IS lost because if they are in the right mindset, it could be a great witnessing tool.

I woke up to the radio a couple days ago and was greeted with "It's gonna be warm today, 5 degrees." Ok, where I come from, it rarely gets that cold so it's really weird to hear that. I can never estimate what the temperature is here because when it is 5 degrees here, it feels like 17 degrees or so would back home.

I love my Integrative Seminar class. It is my favorite thus far. I am constantly challenged in what I think about and how I think about it.

I had a great lunch meeting with Amy today. I am so blessed to be able to call her my friend. I'm looking forward to my supper meeting with Sarah.

I am constantly surprised at how people see themselves. The negativity they have towards themselves. It is tragic. I can only hope that they will soon see their beauty and their giftings.

Ok, this whole internship thing is getting harder all the time. There are 3 things I am considering right now: working at the Dream Centre in Calgary, teaching ESL in Japan, and doing some kind of street ministry/recovery house ministry in Prince George. I had a vision about 5 years ago and the Dream Centre is almost identical...the only difference is it takes the vision a step further. When I went to Hungary, a lady (via a translator) told me that there were so many people who want to learn English, but there's nobody there to teach them. My heart sank and I just wanted to reach out. Athena's been asking me to go to Japan even before she went, but I had set the idea aside. But with this recent email, I was drawn to once again consider this. If I go to Prince George, I will already have connections and someone who will mentor me. The people I would likely be working with are people I did street ministry with in Prince George. Ya, so I don't know.

I was really hot this morning, then I went out for football and got REALLY cold, then I was hot again, then cold, now I'm hot again. If I get sick, let this be my personal reminder of why! I guess that goes for pretty much everyone here. I'm happy I don't have to go outside in this weather for church tomorrow...I actually agreed to work in the kitchen, then thought of the benefit of that afterwards...though I tend to forget that working in the kitchen in the morning also involves working in the afternoon as well. Oh well. C'est la vie!


Lost in Space Jurrasic Park: The Lost World Lost in Translation Raiders of the Lost Ark The Lost Boys Lost Highway Atlantis: The Lost Empire Home Alone 2: Lost in New York The Lost Weekend Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams Lost and Delirious Lost In La Mancha Lost Horizon Paradise Lost: The Child at Robin Hood Hills Lost Souls Love's Labour's Lost. These range from at least 1937-2004. How lost is this generation who does not seek Your face! How often are people seeking and not finding because they are not seeking with all their heart!

Ah the joys of being invaded! There are a lot of people here for football weekend. This is causing problems for some and joy for others and both problems and joy for still some others. As much fun as it can be about seeing old friends, it will be nice to have some "normalcy" once Wendesday hits. Well, off to finish my laundy and watch some football (gotta go support my s!!!).

There are some people who I really want to get to know, yet I am not confident in my social skills, which makes me too scared or unsure as to how to actually approach these people. It would be different if it was just somebody out there who I didn't know and thought it might be a good idea to get to know them, but I'm talking about the people who I feel drawn to, like we already have some kind of connection. I don't know. It's weird. Like, do I just go up to the person and say "Hey! I want to get to know you"? That is just weird. Words are not my forte. Prayers for confidence and trust would be greatly appreciated.

Ok...I feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman (without the pros.titute part of course). We drove up to Amy's place and I was immediately intimidated. She said her place was nice, but my goodness!!! Amy gave me a tour of her place and seriously...the living room is bigger than any place I have ever lived in! The room I'm staying in is great. I get a closet, dresser, and tv to myself...and a bathroom for the most part. Thankfully Amy and her parents are down to earth and very hospitable. I've been told to make myself completely at home. And Amy's mom is such a good cook. We had lasagna and ceasar salad for dinner...one of my favorite meals! It's one of Amy's friend's b-day today, so we might go to a party later tonight. And Edmonton is turning 100, so there are fireworks and what not tonight. This will be quite the weekend.

Weird how you can miss people you live with. I guess it's that whole "Quality time/Quality conversations" thing. Oh well...I have reading that needs to be done anyways.

So there were 12 of us who went to K-town for supper tonight. A&W for supper and DQ for dessert. I was laughing so hard I could hardly swallow. It was mostly due to Leif and Derek, though the gi.rls (Shanda, Cara, Tracy, etc) definitely added to it. It was a good night. And definitely good to be away for chili and cornbread night at FGBC. It's fairly empty here, but the volleyball people should be back tonight. It's good though 'cause I've got a lot of reading to do. At least I'm enjoying the book I'm working on right now. I might be able to finish reading it tonight, then I'll write the paper on it tomorrow.

I love knowing when I'm learning something or that I'm being transformed, but today it just hurt my mind so much. I could tell near the beginning of class that something was going on...I wanted to leave the class crying because it was scaring me so much, but I knew that I had to stay. Before the break, my mind was being compressed and twisted. It was horrible! I know it'll be good, but at the time...

I can already see a common theme in all 4 of my classes this year: practical ways to engage in the surrounding culture. It is a beautiful thing. This is something I have had difficulty with, but now that it's being crammed into my head in classes and with friends, it should make a huge impact in my life when it all comes together.

I started reading the Spiritual Mentoring book for Leadership II. It was weird starting on chapter 4, but that's what our paper's on, so that's what I'll read for now. It's been a confirmation of the things I've been thinking about regarding friendship and what not. Now, if only I would learn to take the initiative to do something about it.

I had so much fun tonight! I've been spending so much time reading, it was nice to take a break. We watched Pirates of the Caribbean in the lounge, then I went for a walk with a few friends. Turns out the time I have spent playing Mario Tennis has not been pointless. It hepled me be able to play a doubles game of a similar sort with Mark, Josh, and Caleb. I had so much fun. The game had some crazy monkeys dancing on it, so while we were finishing our walk, we decided to imitate them. I was a good night.

When I went to do kitchen laundry today, I smahed my hand against something and ended up taking a small chunk of skin off my knuckle. It bled through 2 small band-aids, but the 3rd patch band-aid has been doing well.

Anywho...I'm off to the dorms.

I don't know why I can't learn one very important lesson: to daily recognize my need to depend on God. I wish I could learn it on the basis of God alone, however I seem only to be reminded of it for selfish reasons, which I guess is better than not realizing it. I was having a really weird, not so good night last night and I couldn't figure out why. When I stopped to think about it, however, I realized that it is because I have been neglecting my intimate moments with God. I mean, sure, I still talked with Him and stuff, but I hadn't read my Bible or just purposed to sit and think about Him for a couple days. When I neglect this time with God, I get into trouble emotionally. Thankfully when I realize that that's what's going on and I do something about it, I move out of that state of mind. One reason I wanted to be in leadership this year because I knew it would keep me accountable to God because I knew there would be no way I could make it through the things I have to go through without Him. How can I expect to give to others out of a void in my own life...I need to, as we've been taught, give out of the abundance of God.

I woke up feeling so refreshed and completely relaxed this morning, it was great! Last night I found a few notes of encouragement from my Community Group from last year. I didn't realize how much I needed to hear those words again until I read them last night. God has perfect timing in all that He does and I am so greatful for that so many times. I love when it is brought both to my heart and my mind the love that God has for me. When I became a Christian, I was truly made a new creation. God's mercies are new every morning. These thoughts remind me of part of "Smellin' Coffee" by Chris Rice"I wake up, my past is gone; Your mercy's new with the morning sun; I'm forgiven, I'm free, it's a brand new day 'cause Your faithfulness is the greatest!"

I got some good advice in, I believe it was, April 2003: "Don't be afraid to ask God the hard questions." It took me until last night, however, to truly think about what that means and to act upon it. Now I patiently await answers to those questions, knowing full well that I may not get answers to some of them, but feeling better knowing that I have asked things that I had not thought to ask before.

Some advice I was given in, I believe it was, April 2003: "Don't be afraid to ask God the hard questions." It took me till last night to seriously think about that advice and to go for it. So last night I asked and today until it happens I patiently await the answers.

I was made aware of something last night. We were sitting in the lounge for a time of worship for chapel before going for a time of prayer with our community groups. Between the music and community groups, Brian gave a bit of a sermon on love and friendship. Previously I had thought that there were a few friends who I had made too important in my life and I kept trying to change that. I was constantly struggling with this because it didn't make sense to me to try to love somebody less. I don't know why I didn't clue in before to the fact that I am not to love those few individuals less, but that I am to increase my love for others. Now that I'm typing this I do remember thinking this before because I am now stuck with a familiar unconcluded conclusion (whatever). I think to Jesus' relationships. He loved everyone, yet He had 12 with whom He shared more things and 3 of those 12 whom He seemed even closer with. I don't know.

"It is better to be single and wishing you were married than married and wishing you were single." This was one of many truths spoken at our get together in the lounge last night. It was so good to see all of the s from the school interacting with the women of this community. It was so good to see the beginning of the work God is going to do this year. I got to see, in a few practical ways, how much I need to rely on God and how faithful He is in all He does. Some of the things I came to understand in my head, especially last year, I am now being forced to learn in my whole being (thank you God!). Though I got to see last night how well Mandy and I work together as RAs, I do not plan to even come close to the danger of thinking we can handle whatever comes our way this year. Though I had been told many times to rehearse the truth, I saw the outcome of that last night and that excites me.

Well, it took almost a week, but I finally got up the courage and found the right time to ask my brother what his thoughts are concerning God and Christianity and what not. It was a really good conversation. He has so many questions, questions that I cannot answer, but he does plan to look into some of them. He's at the place of "well, all I can do right now is be the best person I can be and try to do good". I was happy for the conversation we had. It was actually our first meaningful conversation. And it was really cool because even when I thought the conversation had ended a couple times, kept coming back with more thoughts and questions. He said he doesn't talk to people about religion because he doesn't want to offend anybody and he said it was nice being able to talk about it.


Well, Bo-yeun's here. We went to visit Danielle at the airport yesterday and we are leaving for Calgary around 7 tomorrow morning. I still have so much to do before we go! I am so excited to get back to school, though I need to try to find a job and THAT I am not looking forward to.

I love to see the bond of love between mother and son. This is something I failed to see/mention when I was updating last night. In spite of how unhappy my mom is with her living arrangements, she won't look for another place because that would leave her son in a bad place (re: money), and my brother won't stop working on the house, no matter how tired and stressed he is, because of his love for his mother.


My finances are starting to come together for school and when I called MSP regarding a bill they sent me, they finally understood why I don't owe them the money they thought I did. Once I get to school, I have to mail them some papers to get everything worked out.


A few years ago, my birth certificate, which had been in my wallet which was stolen, was stolen out of the mail before I even got it. The police recovered it in a fraud investigation and needed it for court. I went to get it today so I could get a new Social Insurance card, which was also in the wallet which was stolen, and I found out that the police had all the evidence from that case destroyed. Thankfully, I think there's another copy of my birth certificate in our "important papers" box. Unfortunately, my dad's keys are still packed and my mom is at work, so I have to wait till she gets home so I can find out if it's there. If it is, I can apply for my new SIN card right away. If it's not, I have to mail away for ANOTHER birth certificate (which the police said I would get reimbursed for if I got charged for it), then apply for a new card.


Anyways, I spent SO much time "on hold" or just waiting today, I almost went insane!


BUT, God is in it all. He is in control of everything, which I am SO thankful for because I could NOT go through life without Him.


I was reminded of something really cool today that I hope will encourage anyone who's going through a hard time and can't seem to figure out why. Even when we are producing fruit, God prunes us that we may produce MORE fruit. Sure it hurts, but it is well worth it in the end.


3 days till I see Bo-yeun. 4 days till I see Danielle. 6 days till I'm in Calgary. 8 days till I'm in Eston. YAY!!!

I had such a long day at work today. It felt like it would never end. God was helping me through it though. I got to talk to 5 people about school while I was at work today, all at different times. It made my day. When I got home, I was sitting outside with my parents, then my brother came home with my niece, so they were sitting outside with us. Things were going fine for a while, but that doesn't seem to last too long when my dad and brother are together. They started fighting about the house again. I had to take my niece inside because of how they were acting, but my mom told me that my dad went to the trailer then came back out and said he was gonna start looking for another place to live. My mom came in the house and said she was going for a drive by herself (so that's where I get that from), so she was out by the car crying, with my brother hugging her, then she left. Anyways, so I have no idea if I'll be going back to that house for Christmas or not. A coworker said he looked into Eston, so I decided to do the same, and came up with this link: the gopher's view. Enjoy!

Jeremy and Melissa got married on Saturday. "Melissa White"...still have to get used to that. The wedding was crazy and fun...the ceremony was nice and short which was good because there was no air conditioning in that church. The wedding was supposed to start at 3pm, but our hair and makeup took longer than expected. We were in the salon for 3 1/2 hours! We went to pick up our dresses and got back to the house by 2:30 to start getting dressed. We left the house just before 3pm, got to the church, and the ceremony started at about 3:15pm. When we went to get our pictures done, we realized how popular that day was for getting married and how popular the place we got our pictures done at was. We went to a garden in Langley for the pictures and there we EIGHT other wedding parties there!!!


It was my brother's 31st birthday yesterday. As I was going to bed last night, I was listening to my Chris Rice CD and began thinking about my brother's relationship with God (or lack thereof). I could not stop crying. My heart was breaking so much that I wanted to rip it out. It was so heavy, I could not bear it. I have never talked to my brother about where he stands concerning Jesus, but I know I have to before I go back to school. I had never really thought about it before, then when I did, I worried about what I could possibly say, but God assured me that He would give me the words and, just like He told Ezekiel, I need to talk to him about it, whether he listens or not. I just need to be obedient and faithful to God. If you ever happen to think of my brother, please pray for him. His name is Kevin.

I'm not sure if I like this design or not, but I'm gonna give it a chance to grow on me.


I have been so happy the last couple days: I found my box of shirts and work clothes and I found my cell phone which I've been using as a phone book. To top off these 2 wonderful discoveries, I have finally been able to move into the spare room of the house. As I laid down on the air mattress and looked at the 4 walls and ceiling surrounding me, I felt like I finally had a home...I felt safe. I have been missing my CDs so much! (They've been hidden away in the garage for about 2 1/2 weeks). I had tried to find them before, but it seemed so impossible. I decided to try again today and I found them! I love music. I love my music, especially my more recent additions. My discman and my CDs are my escape from the here and now to the presence of God and His guidance.


This summer has been really weird for me. I have been overly focused on myself and my problems, so much so that I have hardly noticed the lives of those around me. Now that I am beginning to open my eyes and heart to those around me, I cringe at the thought that I have wasted so much time this summer and that I've only got 12 days left here. I'm trying to get past that and see the opportunities I have over the next 12 days.


"He shed no tears for His own griefs, but sweat drops of blood for mine." It is my desire to let this love and compassion of Jesus flow from my own heart to everyone I come in contact with. I know it will be difficult, impossible really, but it is something I can work towards.

Thanks for praying...Leila's back in North America now.

I love being able to see my niece every day! She has a temper and her mom is basically controlled by her, but my mom and I know how to handle her, so hopefully she won't end up being one of those annoying spoiled little brats. I mean, I'd love her anyway, but I'd have a hard time being around her. She's so cute though...she's been walking lots, drawing, coloring (I LOVE ERASABLE PENCIL CRAYONS!).

I went to the library yesterday. When I came out, I looked over by the mountains and saw so much smog everywhere. I was like, "Welcome to the Fraser Valley!" Just then, I looked up a little higher (I think I was looking up to God, but I don't remember) and I saw a rainbow. It was so beautiful. To me, it was God's light shining through the darkness, or like seeing God's beauty in the everyday, blah sort of stuff. I could see each color distinctly, from red right through to blue. Go fills me with peace whenever I gaze at the world He created. Even though we have done so much to distort His creation, He is the master craftsman, the most skilled artist...nothing can cover up the beauty of all of His images...not even sin in man.

When I was on the Island, I was reminded of Chris' comments on love that he wrote on March 22 called kids don't try this at home...how our love is often selfish and that he offered a challenge to anyone who would dare try it. I need to begin a list like that for my good friends, the people I struggle with being around, and anyone in between. As God was teaching me about love, He was (and is) teaching me about grace. I wish I could fully comprehend it (along with many other things), but I cannot. The best I can do is to live by it and hopefully extend it towards others. Even as I was reading Jeremiah this morning, I was reading about God's judgement, then right away, God went on to proclaim future peace and freedom for His people, even though they had betrayed Him so obviously. I find it hard to understand, but I am so greatful that He still does that so that I am able to live in Christ. I only hope that those who are not living in Christ will soon see how much they need God and that they will turn from pursuing their own desires.

Please pray for Leila who is somewhat stuck in Ghana.

My visit to Nanaimo has almost come to a close. It's been great hanging out with Kaleena, Laurah, and Josh (and their friends). It is now 11am and I am catching the Depature Bay ferry at 12:30pm. I had so much fun yesterday! We went to Parksville to play minigolf and went on the bumper boats where you can spray everybody with your boat. Thankfully we went on the bumper boats first so we could dry off while minigolfing.

I went to see Bourne Supremacy with Kaleena's sister, Melissa, on Sunday night. I wanted to see it and Kaleena had to work till midnight, so I figured it would be a good way to keep me awake till she got home. When we got back from the movie, we played Scrabble. Yesterday I played Speed Scrabble with Kaleena, Melissa, and their brother Joel. It was fun. It made me miss school even more.

When I woke up at 6:30 this morning (Kaleena had to go to work), I actually started missing the guys from school...especially Kardy, I don't know why, but I will see most people soon enough...21 DAYS TILL I'M IN CALGARY!!!!

Well, I'm off to play one more game with Kaleena' sister, Cassie, and whoever else happens to be playing.

I too missed my blogger birthday. In fact, I'm not 100% sure which day that is. It's either July 18th or 19th. I lost my first blogs because my archive info wasn't set up properly, so I couldn't go by that, but I remembered Rach had mentioned it on her site, so I went through her achives to find it. Anyways! I'm going to say it's the 18th. I'm so excited that I got to come to Nanaimo for a few days. It's kinda cool that I'm here for the same weekend I was last summer.

Well, we've moved...sort of...everything (except my phone) is out of our old place, but the new place isn't ready yet, so most of the stuff is being stored in the garage and the rest is in a trailer that my dad's brother brought over for us to stay in. There have been plumbing problems with the house, so we have no water except what we buy at the store, so I guess we'll be knocking on friends' doors for showers and what not. Hopefully the water will be hooked up by tomorrow, but the rest of the place isn't close to being ready...maybe another couple weeks (basically just in time for me to go back to school).

I found a ring while we were moving. It was under my bed. I don't know where it came from. I'm hoping it's not one of my friend's because, even though it doesn't fit properly even on my pinky, I have been wearing it today and have grown rather attached to it. If it is a friend's and they don't want it anymore, I will be happy.

I am trying to make plans to go to the Island this weekend (ie. leave early Friday morning), but it is such a last minute decision I don't know if it'll work. I must go make some phone calls now (from our old place) to find out if any of my wonderful friends would be able to pick me up on the other side of the ferry. Have a good weekend all!

Well, I had quite the conversation with God today. I went through the drive-thru at McD's this morning and asked for hot chocolate instead of coffee with my breakfast meal. When I got home, I realized they had given me coffee. I didn't want to go back, so I just took it upstairs. On the way, I talked to God about how He had turned water into wine and asked if He felt like turning coffee into hot chocolate, but then I thought, "Ya, right...that isn't something of importance." Then God said that He takes care of the small things too. But then I said, "Ya, but this doesn't have anything to do with the advancement of Your kingdom. Except that if You actually did it, I would be so excited and I would be telling everyone about it." So then God said, "So why aren't you telling everyone about the things I HAVE done? Why aren't you excited that I changed water into wine?" That really got to me, yet still not as much as I wish it had. I wish I got really excited about everything in the Bible and the things He does now, so excited that I couldn't keep things to myself, but I haven't. Well, I guess writing about this conversation is a beginning. Oh, by the way, when I was doing laundry an hour after all this, I realized God HAD turned my coffee into hot chocolate...when I took my coffee upstairs, I put hot chocolate powder in my coffee (and some ice cream). Crazy sense of humor this God of mine has!

What next?
 
Free NT to Canadian Immigrants Banned by Gov't

It's strange how some people's opinions really matter to me.  One person mentions a movie, so I watch it (or plan to); somebody else mentions a CD, so I go buy it without listening to it.  There aren't a lot of people who I trust enough to do that with, but those I do have not let me down (in these types of situations).
 
Since I found out we are supposed to choose a mentor for the next school year, I had somewhat been stressing because the one person I thought I would ask won't going to be there this year.  I had one other person in mind as well, but I wasn't sure how comfortable I was with that.  Yesterday I thought of someone else, so now that I somewhat have 2 options I am not concerned about it any longer.
 
I finally got my pictures developed yesterday.  I have some from grad weekend on there, so when I saw those I really started missing people even more.  I'm looking forward to going back to school to see people, but there are still those who are not returning who I miss greatly.
 
My dad said he didn't want a closet in his room because it would make the room too small, so now my parents and I are going to share one closet in my room (which is smaller than his room even without the closet).  Thankfully I'm only there for 3 weeks.  My dad's brother told him if our place isn't ready by the 31st, he'll bring his trailer right into the front yard of the house so we have a place to stay.  I may opt for a friend's house, but we'll see.
 
I've been watching Big Brother 5 with Tara and Debbie, but I had to work last night, so I didn't get to watch it.  Thankfully Debbie taped it ('cause she had to work too), so I watched part of it earlier and now I'm gonna go home and finish watching the rest of it.

There was a thunderstorm when I went into the theatre with my mom to watch King Arthur, then it was HOT and sunny when we came out. The movie and this right now is my break from packing up my room. It's almost finished. I have so much stuff that is for when I get my own place, so most of that is packed up and out of my room. I have limited my already limited wardrobe for while I'm here by filling my suitcase with clothes to take back to school. It's really weird knowing that we're moving so soon. Hopefully the house will be ready no later than the 31st 'cause that's when we have to be out of our current place. If not, I won't have problems finding a place to stay, but my parents might, especially my mom 'cause she can only sleep in her recliner. It's looking like we can at least take our packed boxes over to the house next week to store in the garage so we don't have to take it all over at once and so we have room in our place to clean. Pray for my dad and my brother. They're basically the only 2 working on the house (fixing up the upstairs and making the basement into a suite) and they have troubles seeing eye to eye on almost everything. It's mostly a clash of the old school experience and the technologically driven experimenting new school.

I met up with one of the girls from Abby who's planning on coming to FGBI this year. It was kinda weird 'cause with some of the things she was saying, she reminded me of myself in my first year. She is a little prepared though 'cause her mom used to go to the school so they came out for grad this year. Her mom introduced her to Jodi. And that, coupled with the anointed performance by the choir got her stoked for school, but she does know of the changes being made to the music program. And it was cool too 'cause she remembered Cara from Cowichan camp from when they were little, and possibly Mandy from somewhere too. Anyways, I hope things work out for her financially and otherwise (same for the rest of us) 'cause it would be great to have her at school. One of her friends may be coming too, but she was away on the weekend, so I couldn't meet up with her.

My friends Melissa and Jeremy are getting married in 32 days! That's so crazy!!! There have been a lot of difficulties come their way, but they are pressing on. (Praise God!).

It's weird not being anxious about getting back to school. I mean, I love the school, the work (though it doesn't seem like it at the time), and the people, but I am content where I am. It's strange. I've never really been content here. Don't get me wrong, I still want/need to move on from here, at least for a while, but for now, this is where I need to be, and it is good.

I was somewhat caught off guard when I was reading my Bible this morning. As I was reading Jeremiah 16 and hit verse 5, I thoguht to myself, "This would be a great place to get a sermon from." I have been sensing that I am to, as the song says, "be a speaker of truth to all mankind." That, combined with my thoughts on this world and this recent reading in Jeremiah, is making me more determined in my faith and my obedience to God. He really is everything to me. There is nothing else that even comes close to the desire I have to serve my God.

This past Sunday, my pastor spoke on warfare, both physical and spiritual. It was a good time for me to hear what he had to say because one of my friends, whom I haven't seen for a couple years, got married and, since being with this girl, has become a completely different person (not a good thing). He used to be so passionate about God and was very close with his family, but now it's like he's not even human anymore...like he's a robot or under some sort of mind control. His family had to track him down because it's like his wife and her family are hiding him away somewhere. When they finally found him, he only gave them short answers, showing no real emotion towards them. I am worried about him. Please pray for him. He needs to be free from this...whatever it is.

I am constantly amazed and thankful for my parents' growing relationship with the Lord, especially my dad's. I found a devotional book in my dad's room today that my mom got for him in Jan./03 and it is up to date. The fact that he makes special time for God each and every day brings joy to my heart.

I have recently been working at another job. It's at the place I was at last summer, but it's doing completely different work. I really enjoy it. I've had the opportunity to do a lot of cleaning, which I really enjoy doing when there's nobody around, and I worked on sawing the cement or whatever it is that's between the shower tiles before they're finished. I have really enjoyed working at a job where I can see results, that I have made a difference. Any other job I've had has seemed like a pointless effort to me. The thing is, as much as I loved doing the tile work, my hands have never been used like that before and I felt like they were bruised all over. They were so weak when I was done that I could barely lift a cup of coffee up to give to my mom. The cleaning however is still something I enjoy doing and, while it is tiring, it is something I can see results in when I'm done. I'm hoping that with the hours I'm getting at the Bingo Hall and the two jobs at Edenvale I'll be able to pay off my VISA, hopefully have enough money to pay for car insurance, and maybe, just maybe, have enough money to cover the cost of a couple crazy ideas I've got for before I go back to school.

Speaking of school, I'm getting together with a couple girls from Abbotsford who are planning on coming in September, just to answer some questions they may have and stuff.

I was going to go see King Arthur today, but I think my mom said she wants to see it, so maybe we'll go tomorrow afternoon.

I've only got a couple minutes, but I thought I'd give a quick update. I lost one of my contacts today, so it's really weird typing (and driving) with only one in. Anyways...I got a second job...back at Edenvale where I worked for 3 weeks before I went back to school last summer. God is so good and so faithful. My dad also decided to keep going to the same church (YAY!). I got to see my friends' baby today...she's 6 days old and her name is Jada Stella Ruth Manuel. She's SO cute! And tiny! We're moving so soon! Gotta run. Bye!

I hate it when I build good friendships with people so they feel they can come to me with their problems, but then I have nothing to offer them (in the area of advice I am meaning). I want to get into things right now, but I have a whining dog beside me so I can't concentrate. Maybe another time.

Well, I gave in and watched Kill Bill Vol.1 today. Why? I do not know. It's so strange how a movie that is all action can be so boring a lot of the time. I rather enjoyed how the blood spurts out of everyone though. And I wasn't planning to watch the second one, but they had to add a great twist to the limited storyline, so now I will probably watch Vol.2 some time. So that was one movie for today, well two if you include Spiderman 2. Yesterday I watched Miracle and today I will continue watching movies (Paycheck, X2, The Life of David Gale), and I may watch The Perfect Score and The Prince and Me tomorrow. Well, I'm off to go spend some time with God before I completely waste my life away. See ya!

Well, it's 3:10am right now. I just got back from watching Spiderman 2. GOOD MOVIE! Definitely one to watch on the big screen! I almost didn't get to see it tonight because I got called into work at 7:10pm tonight and got there at 7:40pm, so I should have had to stay till the end (12:15am or so), but after I had been working for like 1 1/2 hours, I remembered that I had to give the dog I'm looking after heart pills at 10pm so I asked if I could go home early. They were fine with that...I didn't get out of there until 10:40pm, but that was closer to 10pm than if I had stayed the whole time. We had planned to watch the movie in Abbotsford, but Debbie called and said they went to Colossus in Langley instead, so i drove 1/2 an hour to go meet them. While I was there I realized I still have a problem with something, or at least I'm seeing it as a problem: I like to cuddle with or lean on people when I'm watching a movie. This has always been an "issue" for me, but I remember one time at school we were watching a movie and I just wanted to cuddle with the guy who was sitting beside me. It's not like we ever really talked with each other, I just thought it'd be more comfy. I didn't do it though, 'cause...well, it's just not something you (I) do. Anyways, at the theatre tonight I just wanted to hold hands with the guy next to me and lean on him. I didn't even know him! I don't even know what he looks like. He was just the one who happened to be sitting beside me. It's really weird writing this because as I'm typing I'm trying to figure out why I want to do this, but at the same time I don't want to think about it too much. It's so much easier to see things in other people than in myself...maybe because I don't want to see things in myself. Ack! Anyways...it's too late/early to think like this right now...maybe some other time.

I need to seek God more. I want to know Him better. Whenever I think of the glory of God tears come to my eyes, I am humbled, and I am brought to a place of worship. I love my God and He loves me. Nothing will get in the way of that. Even when everything else is being destroyed around me, if I stop and think, I get that unexplainable peace that evrything will be okay.

"Feed the hungry and help those in trouble. Then your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you will be as bright as day." (Is. 58:10, NLT)

So, turns out I do have a connection with my pastor, it's just not the kind I was used to. I think we're so much alike that I didn't even recognize it. So, I'm going to stick with my church and see what happens after this year. The freedom I was so anxious about: it is not for now...it is for after this school year...patience...not a fan of learning it, but I know it needs to be done. Well, off to dinner at my parents', then off to Surrey.

Fight Club!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

All I have to say is HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Do they know me better than I know myself? I think this one's about as far off as it could get! Oh ya...I have access to Messenger till Friday :)

I watched Mystic River on Friday night. It was a little difficult to watch at times because there was a 19 year old girl named Katie who was murdered. The father was screaming, "She was only 19!!!" The movie was good, but that part reminded me of my thoughts and words a couple days before that: "She was only 18! and 21!" I was pleading with God to tell me why, but I gave up on that thinking there are just some things you're not meant to know. As I was reading my Bible this morning, however, God answered my question in a comforting way. Isaiah 57:1-2 says, "The righteous pass away; the godly often die before their time. And no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come. For the godly who die will rest in peace." (NLT) I think that may have been mentioned at the funeral or something, but I guess I wasn't ready to hear it then. Another quote that gave me strength today is, "Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell your storm how big your GOD is." I'm so excited! I get to see Lauren and Gerald tomorrow night! Well, I'm off to do a couple things before we do stuff for Tara's 25th birthday.

I feel homeless and churchless. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to stay at my church, but I don't know where I'm going to go. I don't want to just go anywhere (there are over 100 churches in Abbotsford) but I need to go somewhere. I don't think I'll be living in Abbotsford anymore after this year, but I don't know where I will live. Apparently it's time for me to be on my own, well, no parents anyways. I wonder where God will lead me....I got to see Milk and Migiwa on Saturday as they were on their way to the Island. Migiwa didn't want to get a tan so she was wearing her FGBI hoodie in 32 degree weather! We went down to the States so they could take some pictures. The people at the boarder crossing weren't too inclined to believe us that that was the reason, but they eventually let us through. I went to the lake yesterday. I haven't been to the one here in Abbotsford in about 6 years, so it was nice to go there again. I love swimming!!! In lakes though. I'm not a big fan of the chlorine in the pools. I got my tapes from the Rick Watts seminar yesterday and my video from the FGBI grad choir presentation today. I have yet to listen to the tapes, but I have been blessed all over again by the choir video, though I've only watched/ listened to a couple songs so far. I start housesitting on Saturday. I think they have internet there (PLEASE LET ME GET ON MSN!!!). Anyways, I should get going...watch some more of that video before my mom gets home from work and wants to play Dominoes.

Okay, once again I don't know if I can stay at my church. I don't know if I can handle anymore changes of this sort. The majority of the people I have come to know and love in that church are moving or have already moved. When the whole house church idea came into being, I was excited. However, I also thought that I would be going to this one family's house, but I just found out yesterday that they are moving. It's kind of weird though because they are moving to Prince George which is where my previous pastor is and because when i was talking with Danielle a week or two ago, she mentioned the possibility of doing my internship with her dad (my previous pastor) in Prince George doing Street Ministry. I'm not entirely sure, but I think I can see God at work in all of this. One of the things that has been keeping me in Abbotsford is my commitment to my church. I am now sensing a release from that commitment (though I don't want to jump to any conclusions just yet). But if I am truly being released from this commitment, I would feel as though I have the freedom to move to another place. This upcoming year will be my 3rd year at FGBI (yes, I've made the decision to stay...thanks for the prayers and support). My internship will then take me to a new place. As I am writing, I am sensing a release from Abbotsford (PTL! Let me outta here!). I have been so busy lately. My life has been filled with work, dominoes, and babysitting (things which I feel I have no choice of). I have not had time for myself. Today is the first day in a few weeks where I really feel as though I've had time to think. I was reading over some of the things people wrote in my yearbook this year. The advice I got that has been truly speaking to me is: "Spend time with God. Spend time with Him. Spend time with Him." I encourage all of you to do the same.

I'm so sad that last night was the last DOXA service for the summer. They'll be doing other events a couple times this summer, but it won't be every Sunday night. God met me in such a powerful way again last night. This time it was concerning "the last days". It wasn't preached on or anything...just one line in a song again. Usually when I think of the last days, I think of anytime between the Cross and the Second Coming of Christ. Last night, however, as soon as we sand a song that mentioned the last days, all I could do was fall on my face before God and cry out to Him. I know that people all across time have believed that things would end in their life time, so I don't know what to think because right now I'm sensing that it's going to be VERY soon. It scares me because there are so many people who have not given their lives to God. I ache for these people, but I do not know how to reach them. God has given us all so much time to accept Him...He seems to be giving us more, but I don't know how much. Another thought that goes along with this is that maybe it's not "the end", but that it's the end of the freedom we Christians have in Canada. I'm going to an all-candidates meeting for the election tonight...hoping to make an informed vote this month. Perhaps the result of this election is what will bring about these changes God seems to be placing on people's hearts.

I'M SO EXCITED...With a new pastor comes new changes. It looks like our church is going to be going in the direction of a house church. Everything the pastor said today is what Lauren Miller had talked about in Pastoral Theology concerning the direction of the North American church. It's happening soon too: looking like it'll be in July! I'm excited to see God constantly at work in Abbotsford Full Gospel Church. He gives us exactly what we need right when we need it.

My niece is walking. My brother and sister-in-law found a house, so we'll all be moving in on August 1st. I got an email from Athena. She asked me to consider going to teach in Japan this September. I guess I've got a lot to think about and pray about.

I love my job! It kinda reminds me of a shower though. I sometimes don't want to go, but once I'm there, it's great! It's good for me too. Being in contact with all those people, being on my feet all day. I had 2 weird encounters yesterday. The first was a lady who had been winning lots the last few days. She came up to me and said she woulld prove to me that she was a psychic. She told me my mom's name and my brother and sister-in-law's names and a couple other things. I wasn't too taken aback however, because I figured she worked where my mom does. I was right. Next was a lady who I thought looked familiar, but I couldn't place her. After I sold her some cards, she said I looked familiar too, then she saw my name tag and said that I used to babysit her kids in the apartments we live in. It was so crazy! It's been like 10 years since I babysat for her. It was good. I was hoping to have this morning off though 'cause I'm still a little sore and tired. Every time the phone rang this morning I was like, "Noooooo!" But it wasn't work. Just before I was about to go out, however, my boss called me and asked me if I could work tonight. I was so happy. I got the day off and I can still work and make money tonight. Tomorrow will be the first payday. I don't think it'll be much, just for Wednesday and Thursday of last week, but it'll be something! So my work streak has continued: every day I've been available I've worked. God is SO good and so good to me.
I had an amazing time at church on Sunday. I'm starting to connect more with my pastor on a personal level. I went to DOXA on Sunday night. The only way i can explain it to FGBIers is to say it is like a Monday night chapel. I always sit up in the balcony, which is closed off to the average attender, but I've got friends in high places. Everyone wasn't hyped up, but I was. I was poured into on Sunday about the greatness of God and I was brought to my knees in worship, but that wasn't enough: when my knees hit the floor, the rest of me followed. I was in complete surrender to God and He was speaking things to me which both terrify and excite me.

I have had some wonderful, intimate moments with God the last 2 mornings. I treasure the time we have together. He has blessed me with a job that I enjoy (yes, I'm done complaining about it now) an, though I am only working on call, He has blessed me with work when I have been available to work. I've been having a hard time off and (mostly) on this summer with Katie and Nikki. I have been having troubles understanding why it has been so hard for me. I hardly knew either one of them, but I miss both of them greatly. I still cannot imagine the effect their dea.th has had on those who knew them more, who were close to them. I still dread the thought of losing someone close to me. I used to think that it would help me to have words to say to others in their grief if I had suffered a great loss. However, I have come to realize that there are never words to say, that just being there can be enough. I struggle with the concept of death. I don't believe it is God's plan because I have learned that sin is the corruption of good. Life is good and death is the corruption of that good life. God sent His Son that we may have LIFE! On the other hand, God could prevent anyone's death if He chose to do so, but He does not. Why? I guess it's like so many other things that God could prevent, but chooses not to. It reminds me of a book I read. Jesus is restraining Himself from doing so many things that He wants to do because He is waiting for us to be ready. Though there are so many things that could be done, as He restrains Himself, He does so for the greater good in the whole picture. Even in writing this, I am reminded of something I learned in class that moves us to somewhat of a different topic: we ask God to use us, but many times, we aren't being true to what we ask. The Spirit within us is asking, "Are you ready yet? Can we go now?" That's enough randomness for today.

Hooray! I can finally join the "let's complain about work" club! I didn't hear back from the chicken barn people, but my 4 hour training session at the Bingo Hall turned into an 8 hour work day. I walk around all day...actually, it's more sauntering than walking, but you get the point...giving people bingo cards (of which I didn't realize there were so many! What happened to the good ol' days???) and take their money (though somebody must have taken some of mine too 'cause I was $13.50 short today...which apparently isn't a big deal since they gross over $10 million a year). When I was done, they said they'd probably call me to work again tomorrow. I signed up for most days on the availability sheet, so I'll probably get more hours than I thoguht I would be. But anyways, because I was walking all day, my feet are sore and I can feel muscles I never knew I had. Plus, when they changed my shift hours, they neglected to tell me what happens with meals there, so I haven't eaten since breakfast. (I guess these the combination of walking and not eating is good for a little weight loss). I've been feeling a little light-headed for most of the day, so I better go home to get some supper. Just thought I'd pop into the library to give you an update. I miss you all VERY much!

When it rains it pours!!! I called the dentist a couple weeks ago to make an appointment. They said they didn't have anything till June 2nd. I figured sure, why not? I've got nothing else goin on. Then I got a call from my old boss yesterday giving me a job tip. So I call this place (Edenvale Restoration) and they say that they do need someone and to fill out some papers in the morning. I went in this morning, but there were no papers to fill out. He told the receptionist that he wants me to start tomorrow. He hadn't told me anything about it yet, so another girl took my info down and said she'd get him to call me later with details (ie. what time I should show up tomorrow). Now, this job isn't that great (cleaning out the chicken barns from the avian flu that was going around), but the pay makes up for it: $20/hr!!! (I know it won't be a job for the whole summer, but it's something for right now). So I figured I'd probably have to cancel my dentist appointment so I could work, but I decided to hold off (just in case I don't start tomorrow). Then I got another call today from the bingo hall asking me to come in from 11am-3pm tomorrow for paid training and to see if things would work out. I would only have casual hours at the bingo hall, but they would likely be weekend evenings, so it wouldn't interfere with any other job. Since I hadn't heard from the Restoration place yet, I told the bingo guy that I'd be there tomorrow. Hopefully I won't start the chicken barn thing till Thursday so I can do both, but regardless, I cannot go to the dentist tomorrowow, so I'll have to make another appointment for the day before I leave to go back to school. Oh ya! While I was on the phone with the bingo guy, nobody was watching my niece, so she grabbed my glass of coke and dumped a bunch of it all over the end table, the carpet, and herself! I'm glad God knows what He's doing 'cause I have NO idea! Please pray for me. I was gonna write about some other stuff, but I think I'll leave it for tomorrow (or whenever I'm free again). That's enough for today.

Well, I finally got to sleep in this morning. I've been waking up at 6 something again every morning for the last week and a bit, but this morning I slept till almost 9! It was great! I got a phone call at 9:20am from my sister-in-law asking me if I would mind spending time with my niece while she drove a friend to get something in Chilliwack. OF COURSE I DON'T MIND!!! We were gonna play games when she got home, but she called while she was gone and said she didn't realize it was the 31st. She had to take Dakota in to get her shots. It's just after 1:30pm right now and I was hoping to be back home by 2:30pm to watch Beyond Boarders. My dad rented the DVD and it has to be back by 5pm today. It's really weird being at my church. There's so few people there and I am having a hard time trying to get to know the new pastor and his wife. I like the truth that he preaches, but it's weird not being totally comfortable with them. I guess that'll come with time (and extra effort). But at the same time, I've been to another church since I've been back and I felt more comfortable with that pastor (who i also don't know) and he, too, preaches truth "FGBI style" (that's the only way I can explain it). Oh! When I was at church yesterday, one of the ladies told me that a guy who used to go to my church and who has been working at the job I worked at last summer is going to be the camp director for Camp Luther this summer and may ask me to work there. I knew he was going to be working at a camp, but I didn't know h was going to be the director. I thought it was a good opportunity to work at the same place again, but I'd much rather work at the camp (for a few different reasons). Well, I guess I should get going so I can watch that movie. Enjoy the rest of your day!

I watched a couple movies yesterday: Gothika and Underworld. Gothika was really good...keeps your mind alert. Underworld was pretty good too...it even had some humor near the end when part of the guy's head slid off the rest of his head. Today has been and (after this) will continue to be a job hunting day. I had to come to the library to get some more resumes printed off. I miss my computer and printer!!! Oh well, at least now I don't have to fit them in my car to take them back to school. I'm so excited that Bo Yeun will be driving back with me :D

Wow! Did anybody else read/hear about that 22-month old who was pronounced dead (cause: drowning), but that as he was getting prepped for his funeral, he was breathing?!?! Praise God for giving this little boy his life back. On a slightly different note: I've been reading my 2-Year Bible since last January, but I find it difficult to get into because I don't get to read things completely in context. I don't want to stop reading it because it has been keeping me accountable to reading my Bible, but at the same time I want to stop reading it so that I can read whole sections to get a fuller grasp on what I'm reading. As I was reading my 2-Year today, I got to this one part and wondered what it said in a different translation, so I grabbed another Bible. This other Bible has a cross reference and footnotes. I really enjoyed having the freedom to read something in the Old Testament, then cross reference it to the New, then cross reference something else in the passage back to the Old. I guess I'm looking forward to the Life of Christ class so I can really get into that stuff and have access to books that can help me dig in deeper. God's Word is so full of life...when I was reading this morning, I could feel my soul drinking deeply.

Well, I am still jobless. How the heck am I supposed to come up with at least $3000 before I leave for school??? I know God has something in mind, so I'm not worried about it, but it's just kind of annoying not knowing, ya know? The Student Loan people are confusing me...they want people to get their applications in early, but they're not even ready yet! In my first year they were ready at the end of April, second year at the end of May, this year...not until AT LEAST the middle of June! I don't understand why it takes them so long...the forms are basically the same every year! Anywho. I've created a monster...my mother wants to do nothing but play Dominoes every day and she makes me feel guilty if I don't play with her. Addiction anybody? I spent the day with my niece yesterday (she's so cute), then my brother and sister-in-law came over for supper so we could see my brother before he left. He went down to work at a site in Washington for 2-3 weeks. He got 1 day's notice! I'm looking forward to the game tonight. It was pretty intense Tuesday night (even with a 4-1 win!). Well, I guess that's it for now.

YAY Calgary! I'm so excited they won last night! I didn't realize that a Canadian team hadn't been to the Stanley Cup Finals since the Canucks in '94. And it's been 15 years for Calgary. Who will they play? Tampa or Philly? My hope is Tampa. We either find out tonight or Saturday...tonight would be good. Anyways. I have to get all my stuff packed up because my parents are moving. Not sure when yet, but whether they move before or after I go back to school, I've still gotta get it done. I've packed up a bin of stuffed animals and a bin of clothes that I'm going to give away. I've also gone through my cds to get rid of the ones I don't want. I've gotta take my grad dress to a consignment store and I'm going to take some of my extra Bibles to the Bible For Missions Thrift Store to see if they can use them. I spent almost 7 hours with my niece today. Well, I guess she was sleeping for 3 of them, but that gave me 3 hours to talk with my sister-in-law, which was nice, though I ended up hearing some not to pleasant things about my brother, which sadly weren't all that shocking. I wish he'd get his priorities straight. I wish I'd get MY priorities straight! Don't really know what to say about that though. I'm excited for tonight: CSI season finale...it sounds good. I'm going to re-tape the Friends series finale tonight too 'cause I missed the first 5 minutes of it last time because my parents don't know how to change the time on the VCR. It's better this time though because the episode that comes right before it is on as well, so I can tape that too. Hmmm 4:05pm...maybe I should go have breakfast/lunch/supper. Have a good night all!

I was watching Law&Order: SVU last night. It was the finale. For those who don't know, this show is tells the story of previous cases. This one was about a lady who was an upstanding citizen and principal of a school. She was married and had a 14 year-old step-son. She ended up s.exually a.ssaulting a 12 year-old boy. As the show progressed, we find out that she has a brain tumor that makes it so that she cannot control her impulses. They removed the tumor, but she asked to be listed as a s.ex o.ffender because if the tumor came back, she would likely o.ffend again. While she's in the hospital, we also find out that she was m.olested by her grandfather for 4 years, beginning at age 8. At the end of the show, we find out she's pregnant by the 12 year-old boy and she says all she ever wanted was a child of her own. Needless to say, it was a difficult show to watch.

My mom asked me if I wanted to do some window shopping at Wal-Mart after supper last night. We got there and split up. With no intention of buying anything and no money to buy anything even if I wanted to, I set off. Up and down all the isles, looking at numerous items, many of which I did not know that Wal-Mart sold. I took my time, walking at a snail's pace, enjoying the fact that I didn't have to hurry. I had an entire hour to just wander. There were things I found that I figured I'd get when I actually got money, but nothing that I desperately needed right away. Tonight I will watch the Clagary-San Jose game. I figure it's about time somebody wins a home game in that series. I love seeing the home team win. Especially a game that's as important as this one. Knowing me, I'll probably tear up when they win. Yes, that's right, WHEN they win. The very night my beloved Canucks were out, I jumped on the Calgary bandwagon. GO CALGARY GO!!!

Oh! I almost forgot: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDREA AND BO YEUN!!!

I'm so excited! I get to go see Troy today:D Also, thanks for the suggestion of memorizing Psalm 119 (maybe some day), but I decided to memorize Psalm 24 instead. I got that one memorized in 2 days (though we did read it a lot in Psalms class). I thought of trying to work on Genesis 1 (well, 1-3 eventually) but my mind just didn't want to go there. I might try something in the NT next. It's really weird...I want to get to know my new pastor while I'm home, but I've only been to my church once since I've been back. That was the first week. The next week I went to another church on the Saturday night, which was good because I ended up going to a friend of the family's son's 1st birthday during church on Sunday. Then I had to go to a surprise bridal showwer yesterday for my friend who's wedding I'm in. I new I needed to get some sort of church in this weekend, though, so I went to DOXA last night. I always enjoy my time there. I was so sad this morning. My mom and I went to visit my sister-in-law and niece and my niece wanted nothing to do with me. She was fine 14 hours earlier at our place last night, but thise morning she would cry if I tried to go near her. Eventually her mom asked her to give me a kiss, so she did, then she wanted to give me 2 more kisses, so that made things better. Then we were hanging out for a while and I was holding her hands so she could walk around the yard and stuff, then we had to go and she was crying because she didn't want me to go. My sister-in-law told her I'd probably be back over in a couple days, but she was still crying and holding her hand out to me, so her mom said maybe they'd come to our place tomorrow. My niece was fine after that and she waved goodbye. So cute.

Well, I never thought it would be possible, but I found a game that my mom likes better than Scrabble. We have played numerous games of Dominoes since I've been home and only 2 games of Scrabble. She insists on playing one full game per day...even when she's been at work all day and has to work all the next day. And we have the 15 set game, so we're not usually done till about 10 or 11 at night! I had a job interview this morning. A real interview...I hate real interviews with questions like: What do you know about the company? Why should we hire you? tell me a funny story (that's a new one). And many other questions. But I made it through. I was her first interview of the day...she has more today and tomorrow. She said she'd be calling people later in the week to let them know. I'm still hoping for the job with the Police Department, but I won't hear anything until after Monday...if at all. I wish I could get on messenger more often. I've only been on twice since I've been home. But at least we got phone numbers in the yearbook this year. Oh right...the other movie I bought is Matchstick Men. I've also gone to see Hidalgo, Van Helsing, and Mean Girls. 3 very different movies, but all good in their own way. Next up: Troy. Oh right...one other update: I finished memorizing Psalm 90 yesterday. What to tackle next???

What's with the new blog site??? Oh well. I had more privacy at school than I do at home. It really sucks. My mom just walks in my room without even knocking at times. I can't wait to get back to FGBI! My job hunting is going so-so. Hopefully I'll get something soon! The Police Department job would be great...it's like $17/hr! Part time, but whatever. TTYL.

My car is all better now! My dad oiled the hinges on the doors (who woulda thunk?) and rather than just fixing the brackets on the muffler, he just went and got me a new muffler. I have finally been able to have access to a printer that works (well, I guess I'll find out for sure before I leave here), so now I can print out my resume and hopefully get a job or two. I really miss people from FGBI, some people more than I thought I would. I guess it's hitting me that some of them are actually not coming back next year. I don't know what to do about the moving thing. If I stay in Abby with my parents, brother, sister-in-law, and niece, I will have an easier time paying off my debt and I won't miss out on my niece growing up. If I move to SK (or somewhere else), I will have the space I need and my niece will have somewhere to go when she needs to get away for a while. I can't believe I'm gonna be 25 this year! I'm pretty excited about it. A story of 2 extremes that show me growing up: 1. I went to the video store on Tuesday (cheap day) to rent a movie that my mom might like to watch for her birthday which was on Wednesday. I had decided to rent Out of Time, but as I was on my way back through the shelves to get it, I passed the Previously Viewed movies. I bought three: Out of Time, Mona Lisa Smile, and one other one I can't think of right now. I went there planning to spend $1 and ended up spending almost $25. 2. On Wednesday I went to House of James (Christian bookstore) to buy a birthday card and Mother's Day card. I spent so much time in there, looking through so many books and cds. I almost bought a couple cds and some Inklings books and I catually had another book in my hand planning to buy it. I realized these things were not absolutely necessary and could wait, so I put the book back and left the store with the two cards I went in there for. It was hard to do, but God gave me strength to overcome the temptation to spend money I don't have. I tend to start things and not finish them, but I am hoping to memorize Psalm 90 this summer (and maybe some other portions of Scripture).

Eston to Abbotsford in 16 hours...I was impressed. Before I ever went to SK, I was...annoyed...with the mountains getting in the way of my view. As soon as I got to SK, I fell in love. The openness of the land is so beautiful. The only thing I haven't like about it is that I haven't been near a lake or anything. I've been thinking of getting my own place. It's about time. I'm almost 25. Coming back home, I realized how small my room is and how much stuff I have...not a good combination. This morning my dad couldn't believe I hadn't unpacked yet, and I thought to myself Where am I supposed to unpack? This room was already full of my other stuff when I got here. My parents are planning to move in with my brother and his wife and daughter when they buy a house, which could even be in the next couple months. Maybe I'll be able to start my internship next summer, then when I'm done that I can officially move to SK...near a lake! I don't know what I'm gonna do though 'cause I have so much student loan debt racked up, then I'm gonna have to pay that off. Ugh! I need a job...soon. I was so excited when I went to visit my niece yesterday (I can't believe she's just over 15 months old now!)...after 3 1/2 hours of my being there, she took her first step! I kept telling them she was waiting for me to get home! She didn't play shy, she said auntie many times, she gave me a hug and many kisses, and she walked! Couldn't have had a better visit. Well, since my computer is in Eston for the summer, I don't know how much I'll be bale to update, but I'll do my best. And I hope you all do the same, so I can know what's going on in your lives. Oh right...I went to see Hidalgo today...it's definitely not the same watching a movie without my 2 movie buddies. Love you guys.

I was so unbelievably tired last night. I was supposed to go to some birthday thing or something after in-dorm time, but I couldn't make it...I went to sleep at like 11:30. For some strange reason I woke up at 5:30, but I made myself go back to sleep...till 7. I wish I could sleep longer. I'm constantly tired. Thankfully right now is not too bad (PTL for showers!). I did have quite the surprise when I got up this morning. The entire top floor of the dorm was pranked with shredded paper. I still have my guess as to who's involved. I know one for sure, but other than that I haven't been able to definitely pin it on the others. Today is cleanup day. The entire school and dorms will be spotless...at least that's the idea. Whoever's on dorm cleanup should have fun with the mess from the prank! As tedious of a job as it is, I hope I'm in the library today. There's still almost 2 hours till brunch, so I guess I'll go finish reading my book in the mean time...if I can find a place where nobody else will be that is...prayer room perhaps. I just realized how sad that sounds, but right now, it works for me.

If you don't want to read a similar message to my one from this morning, don't read on. Well, today was much like last night...perhaps because I was not able to get last night's issues dealt with. I think the major difference is that I cried more today and had even less of an understanding. The good thing about today (well, maybe its good, maybe it's not, but it sure seems so right now) is that I was able to escape today. I didn't leave the school because I didn't want to go anywhere by myself, but I lost myself in Zelda. What a good game. I'm having a lot of trouble in one spot right now, but maybe I'll get to try again another day. I decided I definitely want to leave here on Sunday so I can get home to see my niece sooner. I'm not looking forward to doing this drive alone, but it has to be done. At least I don't have to drive back here by myself. There are people in this room who have been quoting Scripture, talking, and just having a good time, but nothing has changed in me.

I just about had it last night. I was going to finish packing up all my stuff, then leave ASAP. The only reason I didn't leave last night is because I want to see some of the grads who are coming. I don't even really know what was going on. I mean, there's some stuff I know about, but I don't know why it got taken so far. I was angry, hurt, confused, sad, and lost. All of this was just the beginning of turning into...I don't know...all I could call it is an evil spirit of anger coming over me. I was getting angry over the littlest things. They all just seemed to be piling up. I tried to find someone to pray for me, but it just wasn't working out, so I just kept crying in my room, wanting to punch a hole through my wall because I felt completely trapped by in-dorm time for the first time. God met me, kind of, enough to let me get to sleep anyways. Cheryl asked me if I would edit her Life of Christ paper, so I did that, then went straight to bed. I don't really understand why I react like this at times (this being the worst so far, thankfully). The first thing I got mad about, I had no reason to be mad about...I guess it was a jealousy thing, then the next few were little annoyances (like the phone ringing constantly) that seemed like a big deal, and by that time I felt like biting anybody's head off who talked to me (though of course I don't have it in me to let it out...annoying, but maybe a good thing). Well, that's me for last night. I just pray it doesn't happen again. I don't like it when I'm like that. On a brighter note, I get to see those grads and other alumni within the next few days.

Alright, everything's done except a so-called exam. Now I have all this time on my hands and I have no idea what to do. It has been a good time to do a lot of reading though, so that's been nice. I have a couple more books I'd like to get through before I leave here for the summer. Less than a week and I'll be outta here. I'm thinking of taking a different way home this summer. Either through Lethbridge and across southern BC or else Lethbridge, down into Montana, Idaho, Washington, and back up to BC. I might not do this 'cause I'm gonna be by myself, but it would be fun if I had somebody else with me. On Friday night we drove to Kindersley for supper and to watch Home on the Range, but the movie wasn't playing, so we watched Taking Lives instead. I really enjoyed that movie. The only way I can describe it is as a more in-depth version of CSI. The Dean of Students, who was my WAT leader last year, decided he needed to come up with a nickname for me. He said it needed to be something that showed his endearment towards me and that revealed my character. Since WAT he's been on this big kick of me remembering little details, so he decided to call me Data. After saying that, he also said that, on Star Trek, Data was the most human character because he WANTED to be human. He came up with the name a couple days ago and has been calling me by it since. I told him it would take a while to get used to...I mean, I haven't had a real nickname in my 24 years of living. I am so excited for the Vancouver/Calgary name tonight! We will probably be watching it in the lounge, so it'll likely be crowded, but good nonetheless. All I have to say is GO CANUCKS GO!!!

There is only one week left of classes (and one exam for me). I can't seem to focus on my homework and when I can and I really want to work on it, there are people who come to talk or hang out and I just can't say no to them. This is because I value people so much. It's not what they think of me, it's about how they're feeling and what they're needing. Obviously I don't know for sure what people need, but I try to do what I think is best. It's part of the whole balance thing I wrote about last time. I put people ahead of my schooling and my schooling ahead of myself (sleep, etc.). Thankfully God is taking care of me. I have made it through 24 years and, with His help, I will continue to make it, even when I mess up. I don't want to just make it though. There are so many things that I want to do, though I don't know what they are exactly. There are so many things that need to be done and I need to continue preparing myself for those things. I love my Pastoral Theology class. Every time I am in that class, God reveals new things to me...things that make me excited about living my life for Him. Some things that I am learning on my own are brought uo in class too, so that just makes it more real to me because I get a better understanding of those things.

What is the right thing to do? Do we ever really know until it happens? There are things I bring to God in prayer, but it seems as though I do not get an answer. I try one thing and it's wrong, so the next time I try something else and it's still wrong. Perhaps I need to take lessons from history and learn that extremes don't work...there needs to be a balance. What that balance is? Who knows, but it is important that I do not focus on trying to find the balance, but to continue trying regardless.

Kaleena's post yesterday got me thinking. I have been in school for so long that I do not enjoy the experience as much as I could or should. I still love school. I love learning. But perhaps it's time for a decent length break. I still have one year left at FGBI then an internship somewhere, doing something. I still want to go to school after this, and perhaps need to if I want to get a "good career". But it will be good for me to be away from the formal school setting for a while. Pay off my debts, do some travelling. I need to get away from here...from North America. As much as I love NA, I need to immerse myself in other cultures. I would love to just disappear into some unknown community, starting a life on my own. There is so much that I am missing out on. There is something big out there for me and I am going to enjoy searching for it. Ah dreams...slightly incomplete, but something that gives me hope.

God has placed it on my heart to pray for quite a few specific people. For what exactly, I am not sure. But I will continue to pray, trusting that God knows what He's doing. It just really sucks when I see some of them hurting so badly. Look at those around you, understanding that things are not always as they seem to be.

I want to get better. This is ridiculous...it's been 4 weeks! I got to talk to 2 of my favorite people on msn this morning. I am always happy when I get to talk to them. I finished my paper at 2am, now I just need somebody to edit it. *Thanks Andrea*. I am looking forward to homework being done, except for the fact that that means I have to say goodbye to people I've really grown to love.

What a day yesterday! It all began at 7am. Spent time with God, had breakfast, and spent the rest ofmy day with Andrea (and whoever else happened to be around at the time). We played War and the Game of Life (cd-rom), watched Tomb Raider, had lunch (then I did my library gratis), tossed the football around outside (I love this nice weather), and sat around in the dorm lounge talking. While we were all talking, we decided that we wanted to watch "The Fighting Temptations" (which I had never heard of). Turns out they don't have it here in Eston, so I drove to Kindersley to get it and to have supper there (well, on the way back to Eston). I decided at about the last second to stop by the cemetary. I think that whenever I'm by myself, I will always end up stopping there, possibly with others too. It was hard, but good. The rest of my trip home is kind of a blur. My mind kept wandering. Many different thoughts. I can't even remember them all. And from the ones I do remember, I probably don't want to remember them all. ANYWAYS. I got back to Eston, did some homework, then played a couple card games with Andrea. The littlest things were so funny. We could hardly stop laughing. It reminds me of earlier in the day when we were all in the dorm lounge after football. I was drinking water and people just kept making these whacky comments that just seemed out of nowhere at times. I ended up having to spit my water out twice in less than an hour! I don't even remember what was said, but with Charissa, Shanda, Steph, Coralee, Kaleena, Gail, Katrina, Kristin, Andrea, and Leanne there, you know things are gonna be crazy! Just before we went to watch the movie at Tracy's, I had to go upstairs. I wanted to tear my knees off because they were so sore. I wasn't feeling that great last night either. I was hoping sleep would cure both of these problems, but I guess not. I still don't feel good and my knees feel worse right now than they ever have. I don't understand it. After church and lunch, I think I'll take another at my term paper. Enjoy your day everybody!

So here I was thinking I had plenty of time to get things done because we've been talking about there being like 5 weeks left till the end of grad. What I didn't take into account, however, is that there are actually only 3 weeks left of actual classes... meaning only that much time to do assignments as well. On the bright side, I finished one exam yesterday, a book this morning, and I am up to date on my journals for Theo 4. It was nice to be able to cross some things off on my list.

My heart is so hard. I seem to be getting angry or annoyed over the smallest things these days. I suppose it's often been like that, but it seems more prominent now. Most of the things I want, I can't seem to have, but the things I don't want are crowding all around me. I thought my relationship with God was getting better, but with these thoughts, I'm thinking maybe it's not. But maybe because I am getting closer with Him, I am becoming more aware of the things inside of me. Ya, that seems the more probable answer. I was thinking it was bad that these negative attitudes were consuming me, which it is, but it's good that I'm becoming more aware of it so that I can begin to do something about it. Hmmm...what I thought was going to be a pointless update full of complaining ended up being a wonderful time for God to reveal a little more truth to me. Thanks God :)

Wow...I just read this Chris guy's site and he had something very interesting to say.

Just a couple verses that stuck out to me today: "Those in frequent contact with the things of the world should make good use of them without becoming attached to them, for this world and all it contains will pass away" (1 Cor. 7:31, NLT). "The LORD says, 'I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control'" (Ps.32:8-9, NLT).

I couldn't make Napoleon suffer any longer...his home was cleaned last night. 2 of Renee's fish died :( I'm thankful they weren't her favorite 2. So as the choir got back last night, I got to hear many wonderful, God-intense stories. One was when most, if not all, the choir started crying when singing the song "I Can Only Imagine". This song and "Blessed Be Your Name" seem to be the choice songs for funerals these days, so needless to say, it brought back a lot of memories for everyone. I remember one time when I was driving to Langley last summer and I heard "I Can Only Imagine". It was the first time I truly paid attention to the words. I almost had to pull over because I was so overcome by the Spirit.